As a sex book author, it's not surprising that I get a lot of sex questions from people. Why yes, it's as awkward as it sounds.
But I also happen to be a mom of four kids with a husband who travels a lot, so many of the questions I get have to do with trying to fit sex in. I suppose if I can do it, then I must have the answer for them, even if they only have one or two kids.
So if you're wishing for more sex in your relationship or you've got a partner bugging you for more, here are my five tips for fitting sex in.
1. Change the time of day
So many people, including me, are tied to sex late in the evening when the kids are in bed and your day is over. The only problem is that often times that's when you save up all the chores and to-do list items because you don't have kids interfering. I suggest not waiting until after your chores and do it first, or do it first thing in the morning before the kids get up.
2. Add some variety into your sex acts
If you want full-on intercourse every single time you've got a moment alone together, you're probably not going to get it on as much as if you add a little variety. A little oral sex here, a little hand job there. The main event might not happen as frequently but at least it's not a sexual drought in between occurrences.
3. Embrace the quickie
I'm actually not a huge fan of the quickie, but like many people with kids, I've become one because often times it's really the only way sex will happen. If you need a little motivation, get yourself warmed up first, whether it's manually or visually, with a little sexy television viewing.
4. Schedule it
Scheduling sex gets a bum rap, but when you're juggling four kids plus work plus a house plus... you get the idea, sometimes it just has to be that way. You can still be playful about it by adding it to your husband's calendar on a certain night that you know he's going to be home. Or just text him first thing in the morning to prepare him for later on.
5. Make it worth fitting in
It's not rocket science, folks. If sex is really fun, you will make time for it, even if your schedule is insanely busy. Even if you have lots of kids like me running around. This might mean you need to change the way you're having sex. Add some toys. Do a little roleplay. Get kinky! But if you're having a great time then chances are you'll want to keep having it. Over and over again.
How do you and your spouse/partner fit sex in?
Image via mikebaird/flickr