Labeling Him Your 'Boyfriend' Won't Make Him Better for You

Love & Learn 2

Holding handsThe labeling moment. You know. That pinnacle moment in the world of dating where you and that special someone discuss whether or not you should "make it official." Sure, calling some lucky guy your boyfriend can make things a little more PC when it comes to introducing him to your friends and family. Much easier saying, "This is my boyfriend John" than, "This is the man I'm sleeping with."

But has a label ever complicated things for you instead of making it easier? For me, the moment someone becomes my "boyfriend" is the second I really start investing myself in a relationship. In my mind, this man, this is the man that's supposed to take care of me. The man I want to make happy by doing silly little things like showing up at his apartment unexpectedly on a Sunday morning with his favorite breakfast sandwich.

But is putting a title on things setting yourself up for disappointment? It's a question I've been battling a lot lately. 

I see both sides. When you title a relationship, expectations develop. You expect this person to dedicate a certain amount of time to you just like you plan on dedicating time to them. You want them to do nice things for you, not because they feel like they have to, but because it's what they want, too. And if after you've established the relationship, you feel like these expectations are making life harder rather than easier? Well, then maybe you weren't meant to be in a relationship at all.

Plain and simple, though, I firmly believe that if you want to be with someone, then you'll make it work, title or not. If someone is your boyfriend, fiancé, or even your husband, it doesn't mean he'll love you more than if he wasn't. You shouldn't need a title to trust them and they should value your respect just as much without one. What should matter is how you feel when you're with them. Don't let the label on your relationship potentially ruin the good thing you have with someone you care about. Believe me, it can.

Have you ever been in a situation where putting a title on your relationship has drastically changed things?

 

Image via AmslerPIX/Flickr

dating, commitment

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nonmember avatar Elaine

Labels

Stone... StoneySkid

Putting a label on a relationship has always complicated things for me.


One reason in favor labels is when you want to make it clear to your partner that you two are officially together. This is to prevent one or both people in the relationship from cheating and being able to use the excuse "but we never said we were in a serious relationship". While two people who deeply care for each other probably wouldn't cheat on each other anyways, there is always one rotten apple in the bushel.

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