Brides Deserve to 'Go Wild' a Few Weeks Before Their Wedding

Rant 10

pink cocktailsIn the often stressful, sometimes colorful lead-up to a wedding day, there comes a time when the bride gets her Big Night Out (or often, weekend) AKA her bachelorette party. Yes, it may be filled with cheesy gags like neon-colored penises and unflattering faux veils, erotic baked goods, and male strippers. It may involve a goofy trip to a lingerie store and one too many girly-ified cocktails. And yes, sometimes, attendees -- bridesmaids and other close friends -- end up having to fork over some dough to enjoy this cheesy, silly, goofy time with the bride, all the while thinking, "OMG, how ridiculously silly and nonsensical is this?!"

Pfft, after all, it's not like a bachelorette is actually celebrating the bride's last night of singlehood. She's probably been living with her fiance for at least a couple years now. Who does she think she's fooling? Why is she entitled to "go wild" several weeks before her wedding? 

Maybe because if anyone deserves to, it's the bride!

Brides-to-be tend to be Ground Zero for all complaints, all ideas both helpful and completely insane, and all decisions. No one's asking the groom-to-be why the registry isn't updating properly or to play middleman in a parental war over who pays for what. The buck stops at the bride-to-be, and while that may be empowering at times, it can also be extremely stressful. And draining. And soul-sucking when what's coming at the bride often includes a plethora of nightmarish, irritating scenarios.

That said, a bachelorette party may be filled with stale stereotypes and icky penis lollipops. But it can also be an opportunity for a bride to decompress and bond with her female BFFs. It can be a chance for the bridesmaids to bond with one another.

But above all, it can and should be filled with good dirty, carefree fun for the bride. Because of course, it's usually not about her "last night as a single, virginal woman." It's about how after months of seriously emotional wedding planning, she needs deserves to spend a weekend unwinding and doing the silliest, most lighthearted things she and her closest friends can dream up.

That's why I'm spending this coming weekend with my oldest friends, eating at our fave restaurants, relaxing at a spa, browsing around boutiques, and yes, laughing 'til we cringe or cry or both at a male revue one night. Light-up penis necklaces or not, as long as our time together is the perfect mix of ridiculous and rejuvenating, I'll know it will be a genuinely good time for all involved.

What did/will you do for your bachelorette? Do you agree a bride deserves one?


Image via rick/Flickr

weddings, marriage


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bella... bellacazzate

I've been a maid of honour many times. I've always thrown the girls' bachelorette parties at a family cabin. A nice weekend away near to the wedding full of campfires, grilling, games and a night out in the town at the base of the mountain. It's always been relaxing, fun, and inexpensive.

I'm lucky I have that cabin. Many people don't. My latest maid of honour role is for a bride who wants to go to an expensive ocean-side town for a weekend, go to a spa, etc. If you know your friends have some money to throw around, that's great. Go wild. But when you know your friends are struggling to pay the rent every month and that they've already thrown you an engagement party, bridal shower, bought an expensive dress, given gifts, paid for flights home for the wedding, hair and makeup... I don't think it's right to demand a weekend away under the guise of "unwinding" when it's really just playing into the wedding industrial complex because everyone else is getting a glamourous weekend away, so why shouldn't I? If your friends want to give you this, then awesome! But expecting it? Ugh. 

The trend doesn't seem to be throwing a big party one night to celebrate your bride. It seems to be bending to your bride's demands and throwing the contents of your wallet to the wind. Plus, average engagements last well over a year and if the bride is that stressed over a wedding every day, she may need more than a weekend away. Something that begins with T and ends with Herapy. 

bella... bellacazzate

Damn, that was long! I needed to vent, evidently. 

Rhond... RhondaVeggie

There wasn't a neon penis in sight at mine. We went out for dinner then walked to the pub, stopping by the gas station to pick up a couple of pints of ice cream for dessert. It was laid back and fun. I don't think anybody had more than one pint (no girly cocktails either) and nobody was dressed up or shrieking.

Prett... PrettyGirlMyers

bellacazzate- you are 100% dead on! A few years ago one of my girlfriends wanted a night of dancing for her bachelorette party (which was perfectly reasonable) BUT she wanted to get there in a humvee limosine, to the tune of $1,000+ for the entire night. We would have spent maybe an hour in the limo since we lived so close to the clubs, so the bridesmaids nixed that idea. You'd think we'd denied her a lifesaving heart transplant! "I'm the bride, I should be able to have what I want! It's always been my dream to get a humvee limo!". It turned into a whole mess, with her soon to be husband basically calling us all selfish via email, and ended with the bride cancelling her bachelorette party altogether, and going to NYC for the weekend with a few people.

Now, just to put this into perspective- the wedding itself was out of state, with a two-night stay required at the hotel, plus we had to pay for hair and makeup, dress, shoes, on top of the shower (of course), and all the other things you commit to when you agree to be a bridesmaid, But the idea of "I'm the bride and I should get what I want!" still makes me angry to this day. 

bella... bellacazzate

The battle cry! "I'm the bride!" Girl, I feel your pain. The sob story I keep getting everytime she whinges about only 3 people being able to attend Bachelorette Weekend 2013 due to exorbitant costs is: "well, I've done this for others and I expect the same" and "you only get married once and this is the last time I'll ever be able to do this." (this being very ambiguous... party? dance? go to the beach? dance "single"? party "single"? go to the beach "single"?)

IS SHE DYING? That's really the only logical question in response to these statements. It's like bizarro world Make A Wish: The Spoiled Bride Edition.  

shyly... shylynn22

I would rather have a classy party, than a trashy drunk, male stripper, penis party. Especially if I'm getting married!

shyly... shylynn22

Oh, I an married, and didn't have a crazy trashy party! And I an perfectly happy!also, I didn't make anyone pay for anything.

Mason... MasonsMom503

Deserve? This word is thrown around way too much. Entitled sounds more fitting. I'm so happy I was MOH to a down to Earth bride.

nonmember avatar K

I think if u wanna get married to a man u shud not hav a stripper over...

nonmember avatar shicacigo

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