12 Ways to Spice Up Your Sex Life Without Really Trying

Yum! 10

Ahh, sex. Nothing better, right? Well, sure, when you're young, carefree, love your body, haven't become horribly irritated with your spouse yet, didn't have kids, didn't have a house ... oh, wait, what was I saying? Yes, yes, we love sex! Of course we do. Sex is an important component to a relationship ... and, yet, let's face it, add in heaping helpings of a stressful life and suddenly it's the last thing on your mind. Yet we all want it for intimacy, for bonding, for the orgasm. (If we're lucky.) But who has time to read sex books, master new positions, or go on a romantic vacation? People without jobs and kids, that's who. So what do you do if that's not you?

So here's 12 ways to spice up your sex life ... without really trying (that hard).

Heat up there. Put a cinnamon mint in your mouth before going downtown. This can work for both parties. If you refuse to go downtown, then you're going to need more help than you'll get in this post.

Heat up down there. Use a personal lubricant that has a touch of spicy warmth to it. Many brands have a warming gel.

Flirtation. Remember the days when your husband you would get terribly jealous if your husband even looked at another woman? Face it, the sex was hot after one of those ridiculous jealousy fights. Agree to go to a bar and allow each spouse to flirt with whomever he or she wants for 15 minutes. No, you can't get a phone number.

Strip bar. Go to a strip bar together. This might seem like one for hubs, but it's really for both of you, because hubby is going to want to hump like an unfixed dog but he can only go home and do it with you.

Use your imagination. Try pretending your husband is Jon Hamm or your celeb (or even your neighbor or delivery man) of choice. Try pretending you are someone else. You don't have to say anything about this. In fact, that's preferable. It's your secret. Just don't call out "Jon!" in the heat of passion.

Tell and touch. Agree that each partner has to listen to exactly what you want and then do it while you're doing it. No judgments. No whining. This doesn't mean do something you find painful or distasteful, but it means listening to what makes your partner feel good, really listening, and learning. Unfortunately too many couples are too embarrassed to ask or tell and years into a relationship can still be (wrongly) guessing!

Do the dishes (or at least something). Seriously, guys, if you want to get a gal in the mood, take one of her "to do" tasks off her list. Women find it hard to have sex when she's thinking about the dirty pans. One of those silly studies showed that men who did more "traditional" chores like car fixing and paying bills apparently have more sex, but no one even asked if this was good sex or why they were having more sex (maybe the macho car fixing dude just insists on it). I'm telling you, take something off your woman's chore list tonight, see how it goes.

Watch the kids. Ever wonder why your wife is so tired all the time and has no interest in sex? Make an offer to fully babysit for a night. Watch her libido skyrocket.

Take a bath together. You've got to get cleaned up anyway.

Give a little love tap/slap. Try LIGHTLY and playfully slapping your man on the face. Don't warn him you're going to do it. Do it with a smile.  And then walk into the bedroom. If you know your man won't appreciate that, then slap his butt. The point is to be a little dominant.

Compliment your guy's junk. When's the last time you've done that? Guy's are so proud and yet so insecure about their manhoods. Tell him how you love his.

Compliment your woman's ass. Same thing, fellas.

What do you do to spice up your sex life?


Image via Danielito311/Flickr

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nonmember avatar ar

dads don't "babysit" their own kids! they take care of them--just like moms do.

linzemae linzemae

A cinnamon mint? I would think that would burn

Mommi... MommietoJB

I dont agree with the strip bar so much, the next thing you know your husband will be asking for a threesome. I think a better one would be watch a porn movie together.

the4m... the4mutts

Cinnamon would burn. Strip club would only work if the woman is bi-sexaul or close to it. Most women dont want to fuck after their man makes them jealous (DUH! THEIR FEELINGS ARE HURT)

Either party being dominate without prior permission, especially with physical roughness, is borderline abusive, insulting, demasculating... etc.

And finally, men dont "babysit" their own children. Calling it babysittng is insulting to both parties. What, she had a kid with someone who isnt a parent? Just some moron that can barely keep the kids alive for an evening?

sssdnm sssdnm

No way to flirting or strip clubs. That's a big no no.

I didn't get married to go this strip clubs our flirt with other people!

tbruc... tbrucemom

The men that I've known if you even playfully slapped them in the face would NOT like it.  A slap on the behind (for either the man or woman), no problem, but as the4mutts said you should find out beforehand if that's OK either by asking first or having conversations out of the bedroom that have indicated it's something they're into.

nonmember avatar K

I take care of my kids n wash the dishes and cook n i havent get laid for 8 days...

nonmember avatar WM

Well, for me it's been kinda boring from day one...promised that she just had to get comfortable...7 years later Ive tried all of this stuff...she doesn't even know how to give me a BJ or a hand job...never makes an effort - I just get the tired person or day off person, sweatpants and no bra....I dunno what to do, I don't want to cheat on her, but I gotta be happy or why bother? I mean she put my guy in her mouth a couple times, and doesn't like me going down on her and isnt expressive. I love my wife but this is terrible and screwed up. I used to have nice good satisfying sex, now its a blow my load and go kinda thing. I am aging and hating my life over this, and being a porn addict. No effort at all in sex - great supporter in the relationship and loyal. I don't get it but I need something besides missionary sex.

nonmember avatar Stephanie

Well first.. cinnamon does not burn and I like the altoids myself..lol don't knock it until you try it..and men love it! and if you have been together and feel confident in your relationship then you should not get jealous if you let him flirt with other women or go to strip bars. make a little "menu" up of different sex ideas..and put a price on it. example bj 10.00 , masturbate while he watches and he cant touch unless you let him 25.00 . the list will go on n on. its fun and you get extra money. .haha for put for cheaper but you get the idea. then you husband/man gets what he wants n its exciting to role play. you want your relationship to work, you got to do different things and make time. no wonder people cheat!

nonmember avatar embarrased..

okay, I'm only 18. I have been with my boyfriend for 2 years, and living with him over a year. We love each other more than anything in the world.. At first we always did it, but now its a rare thing. I know not having sex can ruin a relationship. he says it's not that he's bored with it we do the same thing every time so he knows what to expect.. we have done pretty much every position. I don't want to lose our sex life. what can I do?

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