Sex Confession: Wife Worried About Husband's Dirty Little Secret

Say What!? 32

"Sex Confessions" is a series featuring your naughtiest bedroom secrets and fantasies. Some will sound familiar, others may give you ideas, some will turn you on, and some are dark and twisted. You might want to sit down for this.

Carla* loves her husband -- this she wants to stress. The 30-something mom of two also wants to point out that she and her husband Tom* do watch a lot of porn together, probably more than the average person. But lately all Tom wants to watch is gay porn -- men on men. At first Carla was really into it -- they watch plenty of women on women movies, too -- but it seems to have turned into an obsession and the only kind of X-rated flicks he wants to see. It's becoming a turn-off for her and she's a little concerned. Read on to hear more of what she has to say.

I don't want to be worried about this. I feel very secure in my marriage. I don't think my husband is gay. Or bisexual. I also don't think we have a porn watching addiction either though some may say we do. So this is what I don't get: Why does he insist on only watching men on men porn anymore? What changed?

I did ask him about it. He says nothing has changed and that he just prefers the way the men ... ahem ... handle themselves. Okay, I thought. Maybe I have something to learn. I was into it, watching and taking mental notes thinking, All right maybe he wants me to do that like that, but honestly I feel like I already do all the kinds of stuff the men do to each other in gay porn ... except for the fact I don't have a penis and can't do exactly that. Maybe it's just a visual thing? But I'm a woman and it's starting to make me feel like I don't turn him on.

Things were totally fine with us watching our man on woman porn. Sex was great -- no issues there. But in the last few months, whenever it's time for him to choose the adult movie we're going to watch, it's of the gay variety. And I haven't been the one to select the movie in a long, long time. So I'm just not understanding what is going on because even though he says everything is fine, I'm not entirely convinced it is. I do like girl on girl porn and I have no interest in being with a woman, but I also don't insist we watch that type of porn every time.

What would you tell our confessor? Do you think there is an issue her husband isn't telling her about?


*Names have been changed.

Image via Cubosh/Flickr

erotica, marriage, sex confession


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nonmember avatar kaerae

Your husband is gay. Also, the sky is blue and the pope is catholic.

Bloom... Bloomie79

Just tell him you're not into it anymore and either you skip the movies all togeather or pick a new genre. If he has a problem with that, problem solved and Kaerae ^^^ here is right.

Nurse... Nursekelly1980

I don't know a straight man who will watch gay porn

Rosem... RosemaryFrancis

Porn is wrong anyway.  I can honestly say this because it almost ruined my marriage; but Gay porn when you're a man....something is definitely wrong wit that.  If you still love him and want to be with him, I would advise for you both to seek counseling....immediately!

mcfar... mcfarterson

Sounds to me like you are using porn to "band-aid" some other issues in your marriage.. If you are both constantly watching other people to get turned onto eachother, then you have other issues besides having a probable gay spouse.   Turn off that porn and try to get into being with EACHOTHER with no outside stimulation... If neither of you are turned on by the other unless you are watching strangers with bad lighting and awful music having sex,  I think you better contact a marriage counselor, asap.  Just sayin...

nonmember avatar IslandMomOf4

Candid conversation between the two is the answer. Stop dancing around the issue and tell the man exactly how you feel and what you are thinking! The majority of men just do not get subtle hints. Be honest and firm but not mean.

nonmember avatar blue

Gay as a nine dollar bill. Come on! Straight dudes don't watch gay porn. Straight men, are not attracted to, or tuned on by other men. GAY men are.

anony... anonymom27

ewwwwwwwww sorry no useful advice as i don't and have watched porn. also, @kaerae I LOL'd at your comment!!

nonmember avatar heneedslove

your husband is not gay. he was molested as a child by someone he trusted. by a man he trusted. support him and get him help. he is wounded.

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