If You're Not Selfish in Your Relationship, It Won't Last

LoveI'm a relationship person. Yeah, the freedoms that come with being single like being able to choose what dive bar to go to on Friday night and not having to report back to anyone, those are great. I guess, though, that I'm more in love with love. I adore the feeling of being loved and I especially love to do little things knowing that it makes someone else happy. Not just anyone. Someone who loves me, too.

More and more lately, I'm learning that when I get into a relationship, I often forget about the relationship I have with myself. I get caught up in the things that make them smile because seeing them happy makes me happy, but then put off the things that make ME happy.

And it happens every single time. Which is why today I make a proclamation: I need to be more selfish. We all do. Because unless you're selfish in your relationship, you'll never be truly happy.

Oftentimes it's easy to get blinded by love's intense ways. Giving and giving and giving emotionally to a person you care about may be fulfilling at the time, but when you take a step back and look at your life, there needs to be more there than just that other person. There needs to be happiness outside of the relationship and that's where selfishness comes in.

If you don't take time to do things for yourself, then you aren't going to be a good person for your partner. Finding time to do the things you love doesn't make you less of a companion, it makes you stronger as a person.

There have been points in my past where I've been so caught up in a relationship that it was difficult to articulate things that made me happy outside of it. Hello. Issue. For me -- I love running. I love exploring new places in this crazy dream of a city that I live in. I'm no Picasso and, heck, I love painting. I adore how relaxed I am when I'm cooking in my kitchen, and even though they're a bazillion calories, nothing brings me more happiness than putting a batch of cake batter blondies in my oven and UGH the smell of them is a dream.

I owe it to myself to never lose sight of the things that make me happy. Those things. We all do. We all deserve to be with someone who wants you to do those things, who puts us in our place when we stop doing them, and never lets you forget about them. Being selfish may not always be easy. But I know this: It has to happen.

Can you relate?

 

Image via Linds :)/Flickr

love, dating, commitment

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nonmember avatar Patricia

This article is EXACTLY what i have needed. It describes me to a T!!! I have been so wrapped up in making my husband happy, that I have completely lost me. Thank you this totally opened my eyes.

Rosamond Marie Yarborough

Realized this just a little today - took myself out for a nice lunch, splurged just a little and realized I need to spoil myself and not just everyone else all the time.

Dani Ewing

Here here! I might not be divorced to this day had I realized this sooner. Sound advice indeed.

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