I Was Stood Up on a Date & It Hurt More Than I Can Admit

Stood upI guess the title kind of gives away the story. But let me paint the picture.

I got stood up for a date a few weeks ago. Actually, I got canceled on at the last minute which, in the book of Janelle, is the same thing as being stood up. This in spite of an evening revolving around tickets to the Wizards vs. the Bulls which, so far as I thought, a guy wouldn’t bail on. He might find a way to weasel out of a post-game dinner or sexless hang-out time, but seems like the ball action would’ve kept him reeled in until at least the second half. Unless it was a blowout.

But he proved me wrong and now I know, so I won’t be walking around thinking I’m all better-than-being-stood-up-for-professional-sporting-events and whatnot. 

Hello rejection, old friend. We meet again. I like what you’ve done with your hair.

The night wasn’t a total loss. Far from it, in fact. My best friend—my eternal date—showed up in his stead and we had ourselves a good ol’ time. Sure, I plucked and waxed and shaved and fluffed and stuffed and polished in preparation and went out into the wintry cold when I could’ve been home with my Hello Kitty comforter watching a Law & Order marathon (because isn’t there allllways a Law & Marathon on?)

But it was disappointingly not the positive experience and open-hearted welcome I needed in order to walk confidently back into the world of unattached singledom. Especially since I’m still nursing hurt feelings from the breakup heard around the world. Or, at least, the stretch of 95 that used to connect where the ex lives in Delaware and I live in D.C., and now separates us.

That, in case you’re keeping a tally, is two kicks to the curb in the matter of a few months. That’s two more than a fragile gal like me is equipped to handle right now.

At some point, I imagine I’ll sweep my little bits of pride into a pile and reconstruct another attempt to walk boldly back into the dating world. But I’m not ready. There, I admitted it. To myself and to y’all. I’m not ready, to put myself out there to be not good enough to go to a basketball game with or face the potential of another ridiculous mishap. And I’m not going to time myself either.

If the best way to get over one dude is to get hooked up with another one, that dude will be Elliott Stabler. He’s one of the good ones.

Following a gut-wrenching breakup, how long should you wait before you start dating again?

Image via pumpkincat210/Flickr

dating, dating mom


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Angie... AngieHayes

Don't feel too bad, he was probably an asshole anyways.

insei... inseineangel

Wow, this really hit home with me. I know how you feel :/ I've been there a quite few times myself.

There's no standard amount of time that's the "right" amount of time to wait. You just gotta wait til you know YOU'RE ready (for the possible good, as well as the possible bad). 

bills... billsfan1104

Janelle, I totally feel you on this. I went out with someone Friday night, and he told me he wasn't interested in me anymore. This was a guy who told me that he would always love me, I was his soul mate and the words go on. He just turned into a bitter ugly man bitching about his ex wife, because he found out she was sleeping with his father.

I felt so ugly Friday night, after a day of my coworkers telling me how beautiful I looked. After he told me that he wasn't interested and didn't have the same feelings anymore, I was crushed. I felt stupid for telling him that I still had feelings for him. I never felt so lonely and dejected.

But I have learned Janelle, that God has that person for me. He will bless you and I with a guy that will love us, our girls and be our best friend. We just need to love ourselves first and be open to Gods blessing. We both will be blessed.

Jluvl... Jluvly613

Well said Bills...it really is hard out there to find someone who's valuable of your time. i feel like i've been single forever and sometimes i wonder if love is really out there for me. you've got to kiss a lot of frogs before you find your prince. i pray that God will bless you all with a wonderful man who will go above and beyond to make you happy. every woman deserves that.

Bruic... Bruickson

That just completely sucks. I dated a lot of crappy guys before I met my husband so I understand where you are coming from. Rejection is a hard pill to swallow. After I met my husband I couldn't believe I wasted so much energy on some ex boyfriend douchebag who didn't want me. Best of luck to both Janelle and billsfan. You know your worth and eventually a man will come along who does too!

nonmember avatar American Expat

I found after the 10,000th or so rejection, it doesn't bother me anymore lol...

fleur... fleurdelys3110

I'm sorry Janelle. That really sucks. Did he give a bs excuse? Try and look at it from a positive viewpoint -- he's clearly an asshole and you probably wouldn't want to spend time with a guy like that anyway. He did you a favor in the long run since you didn't waste any of your precious time with a bad person.

Happy... Happydad73

Wow. What ever happened to girl power, femenist montras, I don't need men I have chocolate and all that other crap. Suck it up and stop whining. Guys get turned down all the thing, sood up and walked out on. Women say he wasn't worth your time don't feel bad about standing him up. Now when it happens to a women, all the commenters are saying he was probably an a-hole. Nice and consistant.

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