It's no secret that my husband and I are in marriage counseling. I'm happy to write about it freely and openly because I don't think it's anything to hide and I think it can really help others struggling out there.
Since we started going, I got all the warnings about what would happen, which was everything from "It'll get worse before it gets better" to "Good luck trying to get him to go back."
But I have to be honest, it's actually be really great. In fact, of all the things it's done, I'd say one of the best is that it's helped our sex life. So if you're looking to infuse a little spice back into your marriage, maybe couples therapy is the way to go. Here's why:
1. You're reminded of why you fell in love in the first place. Our therapist made us go through the reasons why we were attracted to each other, and along with feeling a little nostalgic, I actually got turned on too.
2. You're forced to spend time together. Okay, so you're spending time together with a marriage counselor, but it's 45-50 minutes focused solely on you. And chances are, your homework is going to be spending MORE time together. All that togetherness can be a really good way to get the fires burning.
3. You're showing that you care. I'm always heartened when couples tell me that they're seeking counseling because I think it shows you're still invested in your relationship and each other. The act of trying, even if you're just going to sessions, can be pretty sexy.
4. You have empathy. I've gained a lot of empathy thanks to couples counseling, which has really helped me see things from my husband's point of view. It's amazing how easy it is to turn compassion into actual passion.
5. You've got nothing to lose. If couples therapy is a last resort,
which is exactly what it was for us, there's a bit of a sense of urgency, which can make disinterested people suddenly interested. VERY interested. Nothing like giving it the old college try... in the bedroom.
Have you tried marriage counseling? And did it help your sex life?
Image via Dee Speed/Flickr