10 Sex Confessions From Real Moms

Jill Smokler
Love & Sex

Ever wonder what really goes on behind the bedroom doors of your friends and neighbors? It is Fifty Shades or Married With Children or somewhere in between?

Taking a look through my Scary Mommy Confessions always offers some great insight into the real lives of moms. Here are 10 of my favorite sex-related confessions ...

1. Shaved it all off last night and now I can't stop scratching my crotch. Plus, I look like I'm 9. Whoops. #56789

2. Considering telling DH that I will perform the sex act of his choice once a week if he will let me hire a maid to clean once a week. #177902

3. DH working out of town now ... I can finally sleep naked in peace without him thinking it's an invitation. #251071

4. We used rock-paper-scissors to decide who had to go on top. #tiredsex #246213

5. I would like to know where my 5-year-old hid my dildo, but I have no idea how to even approach that conversation. #202009

6. I make DH wear condoms sometimes. Not for birth control, but for the sheer fact that I think I deserve the opportunity to put my underwear back on and roll over to go to sleep while he has to get his ass up to clean himself#182593

7. DH and I are frumpy, middle-aged, and not much to look at, but dang do we have the most awesome sex#252372

8. My husband told me my vagina looks bigger. Uh, yeah, it's called childbirth. I told him that next time his dick looks small, I'd be sure to point it out. #239021

9. My husband bought me a vibrator as he thought it would make me more sexual towards him. No, it just made him unnecessary. #12849

10. Just had marathon drunken sex with DH, and neither one of us finished. Would've saved a lot of time and effort if we would've gone to sleep instead. #281729

Do YOU have anything you'd like to confess? Inquiring minds want to know ...

Image via Scary Mommy

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