10 Sex Confessions From Real Moms

Love & Sex 26

Ever wonder what really goes on behind the bedroom doors of your friends and neighbors? It is Fifty Shades or Married With Children or somewhere in between?

Taking a look through my Scary Mommy Confessions always offers some great insight into the real lives of moms. Here are 10 of my favorite sex-related confessions ...

1. Shaved it all off last night and now I can't stop scratching my crotch. Plus, I look like I'm 9. Whoops. #56789

2. Considering telling DH that I will perform the sex act of his choice once a week if he will let me hire a maid to clean once a week. #177902

3. DH working out of town now ... I can finally sleep naked in peace without him thinking it's an invitation. #251071

4. We used rock-paper-scissors to decide who had to go on top. #tiredsex #246213

5. I would like to know where my 5-year-old hid my dildo, but I have no idea how to even approach that conversation. #202009

6. I make DH wear condoms sometimes. Not for birth control, but for the sheer fact that I think I deserve the opportunity to put my underwear back on and roll over to go to sleep while he has to get his ass up to clean himself#182593

7. DH and I are frumpy, middle-aged, and not much to look at, but dang do we have the most awesome sex#252372

8. My husband told me my vagina looks bigger. Uh, yeah, it's called childbirth. I told him that next time his dick looks small, I'd be sure to point it out. #239021

9. My husband bought me a vibrator as he thought it would make me more sexual towards him. No, it just made him unnecessary. #12849

10. Just had marathon drunken sex with DH, and neither one of us finished. Would've saved a lot of time and effort if we would've gone to sleep instead. #281729

Do YOU have anything you'd like to confess? Inquiring minds want to know ...

Image via Scary Mommy



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nonmember avatar tulip

Loved this! I can totally relate to ALL of these, except for #5 haha

curly... curlygirl31

#5 wouldn't and shouldn't happen.

nonmember avatar Jrmo4

I LOVE the condom one! We just had our fourth child a couple months ago and I'm dragging out the condom usage as long as I can (even with my birth control). lol I love not having to clean up and the studded ones are nice. haha

the4m... the4mutts

Hahaha these are funn

nonmember avatar Sarah

Hilarious! Ask the five year old where the microphone is hidden. Odds are, that's what she thinks it is.

nonmember avatar maria

I hate a guy being on top because they have all the control. Deff like the condoms one Hate cleaning up

nonmember avatar just to funny..

They are all to funny, but.... Lol @ #5 maybe u should hide it under Ur bed in a box.. :)

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