Say your marriage is on the rocks, and to help repair the relationship, you and your husband decide to see a couple’s therapist. The therapist suggests that the two of you begin to see her separately, so she can work with each of you individually. Then she bangs your husband and advises you to get a divorce.
Nightmare.
That’s exactly what happened to one couple in Texas who went to see Sheila Loven, who is now on trial for sexual assault for the incident. The Arlington couple had no idea that she was using therapy to collect their deepest secrets and use them to manipulate the wife into leaving and the husband into sleeping with her.
The couple made amends once they realized they’d been manipulated into a situation they didn’t want to be in, but Loven didn’t take that very well. She started harassing them with calls and texts, which led to the couple contacting the police. They were informed that what she was doing was sexual assault, and oh, by the way, would they like to file charges? Yes please.
Loven’s attorney claims that it was a real relationship based on romance, and any emotional manipulation or coercion is perceived. “They went to nightclubs and dinner, and they spent almost every night together,” attorney Adam Burny said. Well if that’s not romance, I don’t know what is.
Holy crap! I can’t imagine how violated this couple must feel after going through something like that. How can this woman claim she did not manipulate them in this situation? They trusted her to help them communicate better to improve their relationship, and she just used them for her own selfish, sexual gain.
If you’re going to go to couple’s therapy, beware a counselor that wants to split you up. It’s one thing to have an individual session early on, so each partner can feel free to express him or herself without sugar-coating it in front of their loved one, but couples counseling is supposed to be about the couple. The counselor should be a referee or moderator, and help guide the discussion, but it is not supposed to be one-on-one counseling. If a couple wants to go that route, that’s fine, but find separate therapists to avoid a conflict of interest.
While everyone is responsible for their own actions, and this guy doesn’t get off the hook for his affair, I hope that the couple is able to grow and bond closer together after this. Sometimes you have to hit rock bottom before you can go forward, and being the victim of sexual assault is pretty bad. It seems they were both manipulated and victimized -- the wife into believing divorce was her best option, and then the husband into the comforting, understanding arms of his therapist.
Do you think this was sexual assault, or was the relationship between the counselor and husband legitimate?
Image via katerha/Flickr
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Comments 21
Omfg!! i would be freaking the hell out! idc there is absolutely NO REASON why the husband cheated on the wife with the therapist! he knew what the F he was doing!
I think they have every right to sue her for unethical conduct, breach of contract and harassment. What she did disgusts me. She was in a position of power and used that to manipulate two people just to sleep with a man in a vulnerable position. I'm don't know if that constitutes suxual assault, but that's just my take on it, i'm not well versed enough in the area!
I suppose it's all blown up royally in her face- the man has reconciled with her wife and she's been taken to court, and from what i've read about it, she deserves every bar of it.
Yes, it is most definitely sexual assault. That was why the authorities asked if they wanted to file charges. When you go to a psychologist, psychiatrist or therapist, any counselor for that matter schooled in psychology, you are placing everything in their trusted hands. Yes, what she did was abuse. She abused what she knew of their situation, their secrets and manipulated them.
And they were both victims! There are unconventional treatments many in the field use for people who are in trouble with their marriage. To the commenters who have and will sit here and judge what this man went through based on what you read in an article (do you really think you would have total access to their files? Really?) is just the same sort of thing I keep reading in all the comments here on the Stir.
It's sexual assault due to the position of the therapist...it's a legal definition, not a matter of opinion which was why the authorities informed them about the law and had them press charges. My husband would be in the exact same boat if he slept with any of his adult clients, whether they were married or not.
I think a lot of people would be more comfortable calling it assault if it had been a male therapist manipulating the woman into bed.
I agree Handy0318...if this were a woman who was taken advantage of by her therapist, people would have a lot more sympathy.
A therapist manipulating a patient to sleep with him/her is not the same as some random guy on the street lying or manipulating a woman to have sex with him. A therapist is in a position of authority, and is in the unique situation of having access to your deepest thoughts, beliefs and fears, not to mention the deeper knowledge gives him/her great ability to mind f**k a vulnerable patient.