'Girls' Star Incites Crazy Debate About 'Ugly' Women by Daring to Hook Up With a Hot Man

Rant 9

GirlsThis week on Girls, Lena Dunham had a very sexy affair with the older, wealthy doctor who owns his own brownstone played by Patrick Wilson. The show incited a massive online debate about whether someone who looks like Dunham -- not conventionally gorgeous -- could land someone like Wilson -- a veritable Ken doll. So contentious was the debate that writers for other sites weighed in on it. 

Emily of XO Jane weighed in with her piece: I Look A Lot Like Lena Dunham, And I've Banged Super-Hot Guys. The piece was a fascinating study in the amount of contempt our society seems to have for women who don't look like Kate Upton who -- guess what? -- still manage to have active sex lives.

So, yes, a boring, staid, recently separated doctor COULD be sexually attracted to the young, vital, and wild girl played by Dunham. At least in a sexual way. But would they ever be a couple?

Like it or not, the reality is, most couples fall somewhere around the same number on the old scale of 1 to 10. Mismatched couples happen, but they are rare. Still, have you ever heard the old saying that in every relationship there is a "reacher" and a "settler"? That obviously exists for a reason.

The truth is, people are in relationships for all kinds of reasons and only one of them is looks.

So while we may be naturally drawn to a person who is of equal attractiveness to ourselves, we also may be attracted to someone who is hilarious or smart of exciting or fun. There are any number of components to attraction, so it is insulting to insinuate that a woman of average beauty could not "land" a man of conventional attractiveness or at least get him into bed.

This is especially galling when the woman in question is obviously fun and vivacious and different. Why would that not appeal to a man who probably spends a lot of time being "good"? Sometimes the "other" is just what we need...

Still, what if they were more than a couple night stand? Would that be possible? The XO Jane writer seems to think so. And it is possible. But maybe not likely. 

Sex and relationships are about more than looks. That's a fact. And women of all shapes and sizes get laid. Gasp! And while many couples do tend to have the same level of "hot, they don't always.

There is a man I currently know who is undoubtedly not that attractive. His personality is also wretched. So recently when he began dating a pretty hot woman, many of us were shocked! Floored! Scandalized! But you know, maybe she sees something in him we don't.

"She's hotter than any woman I ever though he would get," my husband said to me. Yes. She is. And lucky him. But maybe, just maybe, lucky her, too. For seeing something the rest of us don't. Maybe being lucky in love is about seeing past things others miss.

Do you think most couples have the same level of attractiveness?


Image via HBO



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nonmember avatar blue

From what I've observed, yes. She is more then ugly, also.

undrc... undrcvrmom


I know men who would crawl through the fires of hell to get laid, a little ugly ain't gonna stop them;)


kissa... kissandtell

I agree that the typical man doesn't care what you look like if you're willing to go to bed with him. Also, I would think that prettier girls would be harder to hook up with than someone on the uglier side.

Blues... Blueshark77

I think it's rarer for a hot guy to go out with a less attractive female, but they will probably sleep with what's available. I see more homely guys with pretty girls than vice versa. For me it's the personality that clenches it. I can talk to a guy that might be appealing physically but his personality can make him ugly real fast. Or I can talk to a guy who might not be what's considered handsome, but his personality can make him beautiful and amazingly appealing.

nonmember avatar kaerae

Sure, most men will sleep with whatever's handy, and maybe ugly women are easier, but she won't be on his arm at any public functions!

sassa... sassandahalf

Such shallowness!  See how far hotness goes with all the tribulations and realities of life.  Maybe the divorce rate is the way it is because of "hotness" and "do-ability" rather than personalities that mesh. 

I've told me daughter to be a disaster site worker to see what people are really made of. She already sees beyond people's looks.  It says a lot about you if it's high on your criteria list.

Courtney Cifuni

i'm like a 3 and my hubby's like an 8 so we're a little mismatched (thats not me being modest...its the general concensus of my friends male an female)

nonmember avatar Clare

Women dont need to be good looking to obtain casual sex. Men do.

nonmember avatar Black handsome

We handsome men can get any p girl we want but it not just about we are treated like a piece of meat to be use and discarded I have doves of women trying to sleep with me but what I want is someone who look past my looks and see me for who I'm .

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