Letting Yourself Go Could Seriously Hurt Your Marriage

working outOne way to greatly improve our love as a couples is to work out together. If that sounds insane or impossible to you, consider this: experts say couples who work out together have better "synchronicity, cooperative spirit and shared passion," which leads, overall, to a more satisfying marriage and partnership.

It makes sense.

For many couples, working out separately can become a contentious issue when one spouse gets more workout time than another or one feels the other is NOT working out enough. Oh yes. Seriously. And personally, I agree. Unless there is some kind of physical reason that a person can't exercise, working out ought to be a part of the marriage vows. Call me insane, but a spouse who lets themselves go is not a good one.

Granted, it is easy for me to say. I generally love working out and for a long time, running was a huge part of my life. I ran marathons and more. If anything, in my marriage, working out has been an issue. I can't tell you how angry my husband gets when I even begin to mention yet another marathon to him.

It makes sense. When I am training, I take hours on Sunday morning to run. And run. And run. Once my run is done, my legs are often shot, which means I am out of commission for the full day. I get his problem with it.

But I also know my husband would prefer that to the alternative. For the last few years, he has had trouble getting to the gym and it was bothering him. But it was also bothering me. He was less happy as he gained weight and missed the release of the gym.

As for me, when I skip a workout I am a nightmare to be around. So yeah. Working out matters. For so many reasons. As we age, taking care of ourselves becomes more and more important. It is harder to stay thin, harder to find the time to work out, and, of course, that IS the time we most need it.

People have been left for dumber things than letting themselves go. It's not just about appearance. It's about how we respect ourselves and the time we carve out for our relationships.

So yes. Work out together. But if you can't, at least find the time to work out, period. The couple who works out together stays together, but so does the couple who each workout. Make the time. It might save your marriage.

Do you manage to work out together?





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miche... micheledo

I think people who split over looks/health are immature and selfish. While working out together can definitely benefit a marriage, not working out should never be the reason for splitting. How shallow! Now, I need togo workout myself this evening. :)

Freela Freela

Where are the kids when you are working out together? It would be nice for dh and I to be able to do this... but realistically, the kids are too young to be left at home alone and there's no convenient sitter. I guess we could joint a gym, but that's a lot of money, especially when we have exercise equipment at home already. I work from home so tend to work out first thing in the morning, before I start my work day. He has to do his stuff at night. I'm a lot more reliable about it than he is. Sometimes we jog together at the cottage, but I can run faster than him so I think he doesn't like running with me!

nonmember avatar Michele

Great article! Yes, my husband and I workout often together always have. We look forward to it when the boys go down for the night. Currently we are lifting and I love having his help and guidance. I agree with what you're saying. I used to get jealous if he got to workout and vice versa. We now have a gym in our basement which makes it 10 x easier to get it done together.

nonmember avatar blue

I am NOT attracted to fat. I'm sorry, call me vain..whatever. Some people aren't attracted to skinny, brunette, short, etc. I'm not attracted to overweight. If my husband became very overweight, I would still LOVE him, I would NOT want to leave him, but I would not be attracted to his physical body. His personality, who he is, what he does...yes. His body, no. There is absolutely nothing unreasonable about that. I can't change what I'm biologically not attracted to. We are dedicated (not running for hours dedicated) to "not letting ourselves go," because we don't want physical attraction to wain. I'm sorry, but I can't expect my husband to remain physically attracted to me, if I'm 100 pounds more then when we married. That's ridiculous, he can't force himself to start finding fat attractive. Why should either of us have to?

nonmember avatar blue

Sorry...I meant *wane*

SaphireH SaphireH

i agree with micheledo splitting over looks is called vanity, if i were that vain i would have left my hubby after he gained 50lbs since being together for the past 4 years and has made no attempt to loose it. yes i gained weight with my 3 kids but i lost majority of it and im only 10 lbs heavier than when we got together. his weight has never bothered me in the least bit sure theres a little bit of discomfort during sex but otherwise i dont care and i still love him and am as attracted to him as i was when we started

lobus lobus

Ive always hated working out with my SO's. They always push me to work out in ways I dont like to. Id rather power walk than run. Id rather spin or dance than lift weights. They usually make me feel bad like no you have to run. But in the pool I outswim them all however I dont make them feel like they have to keep up. Everyobr has different workout styles and I prefer to do mine alone. Also wehave babies so we have to take turns anyway which is a nice opportunity for me to just be alone!

jalaz77 jalaz77

So sad to split up over looks. Hopefully a scar doesn't fall under that category. Yes working out is important but it's called "in good times and in bad". There is much more going on than looks if a marriage ends because of that.

You are lucky to have hrs to run and run and run. God I wish I had hrs throughout the week to regroup.

the4m... the4mutts

My s/o doesnt work out. Ever.

And you know what? He doesnt need to, and it would be selfish as hell of me to want him to. He works in the oilfields. Pulling hundreds of pounds of wire through conduit, digging trenches, lifting cables that weigh as much as he does, with no assistance. He's constantly walking, squatting, lifting, pulling, digging... to ask him to work out after a 10-12 hr day of that?? I would never.

Also, he could never get the body he's got just from working out. There IS a difference between even the fittest gym body, and someone who uses their body to work. I prefer his lean, rugged, graceful form.

I work out alone. Its the only time I REALLY get to myself daily anyway. I enjoy our seperate time.

Angie... AngieHayes

We have a gym membership, I usually drop the kids off at the playzone and work out for an hour. My husband rarely goes with me, I wish he would. It is important for me for us to be healthy, that is the most important thing, I could care less if he had a six pack though, just healthy!

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