Couples Show Their True Selves After Only 3 Years of Marriage but Is That So Bad?

Love & Learn 14

When is the honeymoon officially over? Ah, the perennial question. For some, it never ends. For some, it never starts. But what about the rest of us? A new poll claims that the "honeymoon period" is over after three and a half years. Sheesh. Not a very long honeymoon, eh? After this amount of time, couples apparently start showing some very worrying signs -- preferring sleep over sex, going to bed at different times, eating in different rooms, and gazing adoringly at the television screen instead of at their spouse.

But some other signs that couples are no longer in the "courtship" phase and have moved into the "Who are you and what are you doing in my living room?" phase seem like just normal living together to me. For instance, it's after three years that couples begin showing their true colors. They wear sweats to bed, fart in front of each other, leave the toilet seat up, stop wearing makeup around the house, stop shaving, and begin watching what they want on TV and not giving a crap what the other person wants.

But isn't this what marriage is about?!! You mean you have to keep up that whole charade of pretending to like college basketball AFTER you're married?! You have to continue to hold gas until your stomach hurts?! You have to continue to buy expensive lingerie?!!!

If that's the case, then why not just stay single and at least get the benefit of a new sex partner once in awhile? Dang.

But other things -- well, it's a shame they have to end so soon. Apparently along with the farts and hogging the TV, couples also stop saying "I love you"; aren't excited to spend time with each other; and celebrating Valentine's Day goes by the wayside. If it's that way only three years in, it's gonna be a loooooong marriage.

I say some things you have to hold sacred: Saying "I love you" should be one. Spending time alone, another. I also happen to be big on not watching TV in separate rooms, and eating dinner together when possible. Date nights? Huge!

But other things couples should just accept about each other. If you don't know by year three that your spouse farts, then I can't imagine what kind of partner you're going to make for the long haul. There will probably come a time when your wife or husband has an illness and you'll see/hear some less than pleasant bodily functions. Uh, hello, not to mention childbirth. There's something that will make you realize you're not married to a Barbie doll.

And that's a good thing. That's what real love is. It's not something out of a rom-com or glossy magazine. But if you want to shut the door when you crap, I'd be totally cool with that.

At what year did your true self and your partner's true self come out? What did they do?


Image via The Sean and Lauren Spectacular/Flickr

marriage, love, living together


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Bloom... Bloomie79

Love love love my husband... AND I shit the bed while pregnant, if your man can clean up your shit and still convince your bloated pregnant ass that you're beautiful you have a keeper. 

the4m... the4mutts

I have been my true self from day 1. He revealed himself after about 6 months. Long before marriage was ever even discussed. Shouldnt people get to know eachother's "true selves" well before marriage?

Taisie Taisie

My man and I have been together almost 6 years, but I have to say we were burpers and farters LONG before the 3 years were up lol. We were also best friends before we were lovers, so that may have something to do with it, we never went through that whole "dating" thing, or that whole period of time that we were trying to be what we thought the other person wanted us to be, we were just always who we were. I can remember when we first lived together and I was sick, and we lived in this tiny tiny little apartment, basically one big room with a bathroom, and I came out of the bathroom, all red faced, and my man put his arm around me when I cam back to bed and says to me " it's okie baby, no matter how much you fart and poop, I still love you, and you still give me a boner, just not right now" LOL.

fleur... fleurdelys3110

I've been with my boyfriend for 3 years, and although weve both seen each other looking our greatest and worst, we still make time for romance and all that lovey dovey stuff.

handy... handy0318

I get the farts, the belches, hey, I once even projectile vomited on my husband, poor guy...and he cleaned it up for me because I was sick.

But, two weeks from now it will be our 15th anniversary...and there has not been one single day out of the entire 15 years that we have not told each other "I love you." 

kjbug... kjbugsmom1517

We were ourselves early. The real test was when i was pregnant and had an unexpected bout of "im gonna puke" and i needed a cup or something NOW. My husband drank both of our drinks and i hurled in the baby aisle of target while he walked around the corner (cuz the sound of someone hurling makes him hurl). Thats love. Going on 9 and a half years.

Katy Khan

My husband and I have been together almost 10 years and say i love probably more than a dozen times a day, we still prefer each others' company over anything else, we always eat dinner together at the table. I always wake up with him in the morning and make his breakfast and pack his lunch...I dont ever want these things to change and I dont believe they ever will.

nonmember avatar Baliseth

People actually stop saying 'I love you'? My husband and i have been together almost 7 years. (It'll be 7 years on the 24th of this month, actually), and we still do all the lovey dovey stuff. If we're out without the kids, we have actually had strangers ask us if we have just started dating! As to being our true selves, that happened within the first year or so. I ended up staying with most of the time since he lived closer to school, and all barriers dropped petty early. Plus, i threw up on him while i was in labor with our daughter....if they can handle that, you know its love!

nonmember avatar carrie

4mutts, how did I know you were going to comment with the "I've been true from day one" crap. I hope you didn't fart in front of your now partner the first day you two met.

butte... butterflyfreak

Personally, I think it's sad that it takes a whole 3 years for some people to drop their facade and be themselves! And, Carrie, what if the4mutts DID fart in front of her man on Day 1? Would it really be that big of a deal? Seriously, it's just gas and EVERYBODY farts.

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