It's never been easy to be single, but now, with online dating, smartphones, texting being a predominant form of communication, Facebook, and all the other challenges life in 2013 presents, it's even harder. Now add in the fact that singles seem to have increasingly specific "must-have" qualities for potential mates.
Perhaps in a pre-Valentine's Day effort to make singles feel even more screwed, Match.com has released findings from their national survey of almost 5,500 unattached adults over 21. And while a "nice smile" maybe or "good sense of humor" used to be enough to get by, seems like there are quite a few more surprising qualities you've gotta have to score a date these days ...
Like having good teeth! 71 percent of women and 58 percent of men said they judged a potential partner on ... teeth. Huh ... I guess that's one that most of us have subconsciously cared about for years, but it's sorta wild that all of a sudden it's a big deal. Biological anthropologist Helen Fisher, a research professor at Rutgers University and a Match.com adviser who helped develop the survey, explains:
From a Darwinian perspective, good teeth are a real indication of your health -- how much you drink, smoke, what you're eating.
And 'course we all care about that, because date shmate -- what we're really looking for is someone to reproduce with!
Similarly, we don't want to be with someone illiterate! 55 percent of men and 69 percent of women want a mate who uses proper grammar. (Sweet, a sign we're not totally headed down the Idiocracy path as a society just yet?!)
Meanwhile, though, it seems like singles these days have pretty low tolerance for inexperience. 42 percent would not date a virgin. Weird! I would think that might fall under the category of "non-issue"/"if I like you enough, we'll figure it out." Also, who is actually making that known in their online dating profile or early on in the dating game? Strange.
To each their own, but something the survey didn't seem to cover is how having too many must-haves and prerequisites -- as Patti Stanger puts it, "non-negotiables" -- is the fast track to shooting yourself in the foot as a singleton. Not to mention being totally superficial and worrying only about what's going on at the surface level, obvy. We're never going to find a real human being who fits a laundry list of traits. Maybe he or she will have a few, along with some flaws we can tolerate. In the end, that's what it's all about if you actually want to win the dating game.
What do you make of this survey? What are/were your "non-negotiables"?
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Comments 24
Clear diction, enunciation, good grammar and a sense of humor have always been important. A JOB is at the too of the list. Not being lazy, racist, sexist, ageist, weightist douchebag is up there, too. One thing I can say about my exes is, no matter how maddening they were to live with, they weren't horrible people.
I've seen some pretty disgusting teeth on some guys. I would never be able to kiss them. It's just a sign of how much they fail at personal hygiene and cleanliness.
Carry on.
These things really don't bug me in terms of what I look for in a mate. I think bad teeth shouldn't determine what a person is on the inside. Heck the English have bad teeth but some of them are the most well mannered people ever. The judging people by their grammar irks me to no end. News flash: grammar has no bearing on a person's personality. it's like saying "I met a great guy! Sure he's a drug addict. woman beater whose murdered puppies as a kid but he's got impeccable grammar so he's a catch!" And i think the virgin thing is just a matter of morals so it's not a deal breaker to me. I really have nothing specific I look for in a mate just that he respect me and my beliefs and treat me well.