The 10 Most Important Commandments of Every Marriage

marriage commandmentsSometimes it seems like we are just winging this whole marriage thing one hour at a time. After being married 10 years, I can officially say that many of the things people told me in the beginning -- don't go to bed angry, always kiss goodbye -- haven't been the "rules" that sustain us.

In fact, the things that have helped my marriage last are sometimes things they tell you NOT to do -- junk food binges, sex when you don't feel like it, and screaming at one another. They've actually helped a marriage make it over the humps.

Sometimes it seems like the rules of the game are things you learn as you go. And it makes sense, right? We are all individuals and we marry individuals and no two marriages are the same. Still, there are SOME absolutes, so with no further ado, I give you the 10 commandments of marriage. Read them and LEARN:

  1. Thou shalt not cheat: Dang! Start with an easy one, but seriously. This is so obvious. And yes, this includes sexting and Facebooking old girlfriends. It includes anything your spouse (not you) would consider a betrayal.
  2. Thou shalt get medicine in the middle of the night: If your hubby is sick, get your butt out of bed and get him his meds. It's a small thing, and yes, he could do it himself, but wouldn't you want him to do it for you?
  3. Thou shalt forgo sex once in a while: It's not a written contract that you get sex whenever you want now. Respect your partner's right to body autonomy.
  4. Thou shalt yell and scream when angry: Good couples fight. I don't care what anyone else says. If you are getting it out, you are doing well.
  5. Thou shalt compliment: Look at your husband's butt after his shower. Still think it looks good? Tell him!
  6. Thou shalt date each other: You were together long before you had kids and you will be together long after (God willing), so go out ALONE once in a while!
  7. Thou shalt flirt: Don't lose that sexy banter and that flirtatious way that got you together in the first place.
  8. Thou shalt laugh: Don't take it all so seriously. Laugh. Crack each other up. Tell jokes and be silly. Don't forget it.
  9. Thou shalt rub feet and scratch backs: This should be written into the vows, people. Biggest perks of marriage right HERE!
  10. Thou shalt cuddle sometimes without sex: Sometimes you forget you can just hold one another without having to go all the way. Still do that once in a while, too.

What are your marriage commandments?


Image via @jbtaylor/Flickr



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nonmember avatar Common.Sense

Ehhh, sorry, but I disagree. Sex is the glue that holds a couple together. Barring physical injury, illness, or grief over the death of a friend/family member, there's no real excuse for turning your partner down. Constant sexual rejection is emotional abuse, and extremely cruel.

Beth Webb

Common Sense: you must be a guy. Sex is not the glue, trust is the glue. Constantly rejecting your spouse is really, really bad. But it isn't the lack of sex, it's the lack of trust, communication and intimacy. Although you should fulfill your spouses sexual needs, YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO SAY NO!!!!!!!!!!! Spousal rape IS real and it DOES hurt the victim.

RobynS RobynS

I agree with #4. DH and I hardly communicate at all. A fight would be an improvement. :(

luvbe... luvbeinamommy68

i agree with it all! :) BTW my hubby gives awesome back and foot rubs! cant wait till he comes home! 

MabFae MabFae

I completely agree with each and every one! A first for me and the Stir. 

Carlene Riveland

Not sure I agree with #4. There is something to be said for controlling your temper. How about "Thou shalt not talk trash about your spouse." I think this rule saves us a lot of meddling from outside soures, and hard feelings.

Erika... ErikaRobin

In defense of Number Four, it does not specifically state that you should scream and yell AT your mate.  Screaming and yelling are healthy stress relievers.  No one said you have to direct all comments of asshattery and douchebaggery and twatfuckery toward your spouse.  ;)


Elizabeth Voetberg

I agree with all of them. Especially the sick one. Mine is sick as we speak and I got up around 2am and made him honey an lemon with a dash of salt for his cough and congestion.  he appreciates every thing I do for him. we do not always have sex and we do turn down sex at imes but we have no resentment we understand eachother. plenty of time for el sexo. when we disagree we communicate and when we are done we giggle at eachother then kiss and end up cuddling. I think we all truly know the basics of making  a marriage work its the are we willing to do it? I am.

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