Many of us have a strict back door policy: No entry. Exit only. Anal sex isn't for everyone. Neither is chocolate, but those people are weird. Some love it; others never, ever want to even try it. I'm talking about anal again. Not chocolate. The two should never mix because, well ... oh gosh the VISUAL! But what happens when your partner is knocking on your back door and you don't want to answer. How do you say no?
Well, there are lots of ways to say no to anal sex, but I think I came up with seven of the best responses on how to decline some butt love.
1. Just say "no." Short. Sweet. To the point.
2. Talk extremely dirty about having sex with your vagina. If you mutter the words, "F*ck me in my pu**y, that's where I want you" in your sexiest breathy voice, he'll forget all about entering the back.
3. Tell him his penis is too big. Even if it's not. Men like these types of huge compliments and he'll forget all about penetrating your rear.
4. Give him a blowjob. When he starts asking about anal, go to town down below. Anal what?!
5. Tell him you haven't gone poop in a few days and you're worried about opening the flood gates. Beware as this may be a huge turn-off (oversharing with your partner can be dangerous) and you may never have sex again. But, hey, at least you've dodged the anal bullet.
6. Say you have hemorrhoids. See #5 if you need a why this will work.
7. Tell him you are saving it for marriage. Good incentive to marry you, right? He'll think you're all pure and special. Ha! If you're already married and you told him this before you tied the knot, give him the huge penis compliment and you should be good until the next time he asks.
Have you ever used any of these to say no to anal sex? Have any more to add?
Image via fuzzcaminski/Flickr
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Comments 25
This is so stupid. Basically this article can be summed up by saying "LIE TO HIM!!!" How about just telling him the truth, you don't want it? And they wonder why so many couples divorce. When they get advice and live their lives like this it's not surprising. They can't even be honest about something as mundane as sex.
Or maybe you can actually try it. If done right it's actually very pleasurable. I thought the same way until I tried it with my fiance who is very gentle and knows what to do. Why should your partner be deprived of something that you haven't even given a chance? As far as the married thing, do not do that, it's not right to deceive your spouse. If you're not married and he wants to do it really bad and you don't, you may need to find someone you're more sexually compatible with. It's not as easy once you're married....
There is NEVER a reason to give someone something sexually, just because they want it, or you're feeling guilty for "depriving" them. Its our bodies, and we shouldnt ever feel badly for saying NO to ANYTHING.
I'm just going to show this article to my husband. I think he'll get the hint....
If you object on moral grounds, make that clear and it is not up for discussion.
If there is an emotional reason (perhaps a traumatizing experience), explain that, and it is not up for discussion.
If you are siply woried that it will hurt, start small. Try allowing him to finger you there, but tell him you wont go there this session. oh, and I cannot say how important lube is. I cannot say enough good things about astroglide.
"Nevermind how you feel about it, your man deserves it!" No. Just, no.