Many of us have a strict back door policy: No entry. Exit only. Anal sex isn't for everyone. Neither is chocolate, but those people are weird. Some love it; others never, ever want to even try it. I'm talking about anal again. Not chocolate. The two should never mix because, well ... oh gosh the VISUAL! But what happens when your partner is knocking on your back door and you don't want to answer. How do you say no?
Well, there are lots of ways to say no to anal sex, but I think I came up with seven of the best responses on how to decline some butt love.
1. Just say "no." Short. Sweet. To the point.
2. Talk extremely dirty about having sex with your vagina. If you mutter the words, "F*ck me in my pu**y, that's where I want you" in your sexiest breathy voice, he'll forget all about entering the back.
3. Tell him his penis is too big. Even if it's not. Men like these types of huge compliments and he'll forget all about penetrating your rear.
4. Give him a blowjob. When he starts asking about anal, go to town down below. Anal what?!
5. Tell him you haven't gone poop in a few days and you're worried about opening the flood gates. Beware as this may be a huge turn-off (oversharing with your partner can be dangerous) and you may never have sex again. But, hey, at least you've dodged the anal bullet.
6. Say you have hemorrhoids. See #5 if you need a why this will work.
7. Tell him you are saving it for marriage. Good incentive to marry you, right? He'll think you're all pure and special. Ha! If you're already married and you told him this before you tied the knot, give him the huge penis compliment and you should be good until the next time he asks.
Have you ever used any of these to say no to anal sex? Have any more to add?
Image via fuzzcaminski/Flickr
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