I Went From Hating Valentine's Day to Loving What It Does for My Marriage

Love & Learn 6

In defense of Valentine's Day for couplesI used to think that Valentine's Day was a dating person's holiday. The pricey flowers, the expensive dinners out -- not to mention the cost of a babysitter on a holiday. The practical side of me can't help but roll eyes at the over-commercialization that has become February 14.

Have you seen how much college is these days?

But lately, I've realized that Valentine's Day might be exactly what our marriage needs, even if it does cost us a pretty penny to celebrate.

If you're me, and most couples out there, finding time to spend together, let alone time that's just focused on you and not your kids or the laundry or CAN YOU PLEASE EMPTY THE DISHWASHER, is pretty rare.

Being married with kids is hard, and I'm the first to admit that I have the amazing ability to pile on all sorts of seemingly important tasks on my list while my husband drops lower and lower in priority.

And I'm the celebrator in the relationship, the one who buys little gifts and cards, who brings home special desserts or balloons for no reason. So you can imagine where I fall on my husband's list as the one who often needs a nudget to buy birthday gifts, not for lack of thought per se, but because he's busy too, with work, with grad school ... WE'RE ALL DAMN BUSY.

So when a holiday like Valentine's Day comes around, one that's printed on every calendar, that you can't escape unless you hide in a bunker for the entire month of February, it's like an automatic reminder. Like when your phone pings to remind you of your dentist appointment, which you wouldn't ever remember unless you phone pinged you.

Now I'm not saying marriage is like a dentist appointment, but it can feel that way when you've been at it for so long. And it doesn't make you a bad person or a lousy spouse if you need the friendly reminder.

If you're the kind of couple who have regular date nights and a wonderful, happy marriage all the time, then chances are you don't need to go crazy at Valentine's Day because you probably go crazy a lot.

But for us, the commercialization is like a shot in the backside. A moment, whether it's a hot date out, a sexy night in, or just a sweet, romantic card with overpriced flowers, to be thankful. To look at the person you've chosen to spend your life with and appreciate everything they do and have done.

Who cares if you need some ridiculous holiday to tell you? Better that than not at all.

What do you think of Valentine's Day?


Image via Clevercupcakes/Flickr

marriage, valentine's day, holidays, holiday gifts


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nonmember avatar ruthless1

I have been married for 24 years and we dont do Valenines Day...because we dont need it. He will bring me flowers out of the blue for no reason...because he was thinking of me and wanted to make me happy. We tell each other every day how much we love each other. I will surprise him with his favorite dessert for no reason other than I know he had a rough week at work and I want him to smile. All of these things are more important than a specific day that marketers say we should celebrate love. Do it every day and you dont need Valentimes Day.

SrctL... SrctLfeAddct00

Ugh! I'm single and about to be 21 but Valentine's Day is seriously LAME!!! I watch a chick flick BUT I don't watch them wishing for guys like a certain character. WHY spend insane amounts of money on your boyfriend/girlfriend just for ONE DAY??? I agree with everything you've said

the4m... the4mutts

I think valentines day is stupid, and I make it a point to try not to celebrate anything with catholic roots, because that makes it twice as stupid.

ethan... ethans_momma06

While I'm fine with other people doing whatever they want- I'm boycotting Valentines day. Yep. For realz. I'm not doing it. Done with doing it.

We don't go crazy a lot. However, I'd much have rare moments of genuine expression vs. a set date of forced expression coupled with a hefty dose of commercialism. Call me crazy.

Cel7777 Cel7777

Lol @ the4mutts

Tanst... Tanstaafl2

Celebrate March the 14th (look it up), and your husband will be VERY happy!

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