How You Lost Your Virginity Supposedly Matters More Than You Know

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rose petals on a bedThere's enough anxiety about having sex for the first time without worrying that somehow, however it goes down will influence your sex life -- for the rest of your life. But that's exactly what researchers from the Universities of Tennessee and Mississippi are claiming in a new, totally annoying study.

Apparently, people who "were most emotionally and physically satisfied the first time found their sex lives the most fulfilling," while "those who reported higher levels of anxiety and negativity with the first time reported lower overall sexual functioning." This based on talking to a few hundred undergrads about when and how they swiped their v-card. Face. Palm.

I'm someone who took the whole v-card thing really seriously, because I didn't want to do it with just anyone. I waited, because I wanted to avoid ending up in an emotional basketcase, all because the guy didn't care as much as I did. I waited 'til I was in love and monogamous -- but not yet married. So, clearly, I felt -- and I still feel -- the first time should feel right.

More from The Stir: In Defense of Having Sex Before Marriage

But for most people, it doesn't necessarily. For most people, especially those who lose their virginity in their mid-teens, it's awkward, weird, embarrassing, painful perhaps, emotionally tough, disappointing. And, most likely, more people than not experience anxiety before/during/after! And that's okay! It's more normal than not! (Geeze, I feel like Judy Blume.)

A not-so-perfect first time definitely doesn't mean the end of the world -- or the end of your sex life forever! That's just plain ludicrous. And clearly a fearmongering tactic to try to brainwash young people to wait. Even though making mistakes -- yes, even when it comes to losing ther virginity -- is an important part of growing up and learning who we are, in and out of bed.

What do you make of this study? Do you think your first time actually has any bearing on how fulfilling your sex life will be?


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