10 Things a Guy Will Say if He Wants to Cheat

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A couple of years ago, I went to a dinner party. The couple having it were nice, good-looking, pleasant, and seemed really in love. But over the course of the evening, as I was chatting with the husband, I began to get the uneasy feeling that he was ... hitting on me. But this can't be, I thought. His wife is in the kitchen. Like, 10 feet away. She just cooked dinner. He just kissed her! But if you don't correctly sense when you're being hit on, then maybe you're not actually female.

Long story short, it turned out that the guy dated other women. And here's the kicker: He claimed his wife was "fine" with it. Only ... they'd never quite discussed it. He just knew she knew. And she was okay with it. So he said. Yeah, I didn't buy it either. Even if I did, I wasn't interested.

Here are 10 excuses guys use when they want to cheat.

"She knows and is okay with it." I suspect guys who think this genuinely have convinced themselves of it -- it's easier than thinking of themselves as being cheaters.

"She doesn't like sex." Hmm. Maybe not with you -- because you're a cheater.

"She's not interested in sex with me." That can't be true, considering you have three kids. And even if it is true, try therapy.

"She wouldn't care." Then there's no problem in asking her, right?

"We're just together for the children." Then maybe you should be faithful for the children too?

"She knew what I was like when she married me." Oh please. Women think marriage changes everything.

"We're getting divorced." Have they filed? Look it up online. Ask to see the papers.

"We're separated." Call me when you're divorced. Or not.

"She's gay." Then get divorced.

"She doesn't understand me." That makes two of us.

What excuses have you heard when a guy wants to cheat?


Image via Joe Bielawa/Flickr

cheating, sex, marriage


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Rhonda Fomby

My ex told me, "I'm going to be with other woman, I'm not looking, but it probably will happen...it's just my nature."

Uh, check please!

nekoy... nekoyukidoll

My ex put the blame on me for him talking to his now gf while we were still dating.  She even commented on FB that the reason why he started dating her was because I "couldn't handle my man".  Guess he wasn't man enough for me anyway.

Littl... LittleFrogsMA

My ex denied it at first, dismissed it and then cried about how lonely he was.   After I left, he blamed his mental illness.  "I only do it when I'm manic"  And it's apparently now all my fault in his mind because I didn't get him committed.

nonmember avatar lisa

Are there any men who don't cheat? After my husband broke my heart by cheating on me WHEN he convinced me to marry him, I left and vowed not to sleep with cheating men. Well, so far I haven't met one who hasn't cheated on a wife or girlfriend, or tried to with ME. If women refuse to participate once they know there's an innocent woman who could get hurt by this, men will have no choice but to stay faithful.

Shannon Brinley Etheridge

I agree with Lisa men are dogs there are few good ones left.. but if women would start telling them No when they know the man has a woman especially if they have kids together. why be a home wrecker? If he didn't want his woman he wouldn't be with her, he's just telling lies to get a piece of strange. But then again in today's society who is actually being raised to respect marriage/ relationships. Actions speak louder than words and when kids see what their parents are doing they think it's normal and just keep it secret

nonmember avatar guest

actually, some of us DO know, and ARE okay with it. no, not many, but i am.

Ashley Crouse

I've never noticed men hitting on me to be honest... I don't pay that much attention. I wasn't even looking for my Fiancee when I met him. It just happened. And he has never given me any reason to doubt him. I've also never heard any of those excuses either. Some women really are okay with it. I'm not one of those. I also agree that women need to do some research before just spreading their legs for any man they meet that hits on them. If more women would say no, men would have less options to cheat. The same could be said for women cheaters too.

nonmember avatar Guest

Let's see ... I've been hit on by so many married men it's not funny. A few great one that I've heard:

"I just can't afford to get a divorce right now - she'd take me for everything I have." If you really want to get a divorce, you'd find a way to make ends meet, as 1,000's of divorced people do every day.

"I've been sleeping on the couch for months. I'm SO lonely - I just want somebody to hold me." Awww poor thing. Come here, you sad little puppy. So I can punch you in the throat for lamely trying to play on my emotions.

"It's not cheating if you only do 'certain things'. I promise I won't go any further than that." Yeah, and it's not robbery if you only take a little money.

They pretty much all say the same things. Every one of them. You'd think they would be able to come up with new lines by now -geez.

nonmember avatar Ted

My first truly committed relationship, and my third sexual relationship, began in 1992. Six years later we were married. Fourteen years after that, when our daughter was three. my wife told me that she'd (just that week) started "dating" other men, and cheated on me with two other men already. She asked for an open marriage, and I (trying to salvage our relationship) agreed. I moved out of our apartment on New Year's Eve, because "open" wasn't good enough for her. She still claims that she doesn't want a divorce, and she "isn't ready to give up on Us yet," but she's also become more distant over the past five months. I'm a man, and I never once (not as a teenager, and not to this day) considered cheating on any girlfriend, including my wife. I'm in hell. Where's the lack of sexism in this discussion thread?

Bunny Lee DuChemin Wilson

As a woman (who doesnt cheat but is honest about women in general), I can say women are just as bad...if not worse. They are just better and smarter at it. They dont get caught or brag as miuch so it just seems worse with men.

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