Sex Confession: I'm Having an Affair With My Husband's Best Friend

OMG 22

kissing"Sex Confessions" is a series featuring your naughtiest bedroom secrets and fantasies. Some will sound familiar, others may give you ideas, some will turn you on, and some are dark and twisted. You might want to sit down for this.

Some people do really bad things and feel terrible about them. Others not so much. Like 40-something-year-old Kimberly* for example. She had sex with her husband's best friend Lou*. Actually, she has been for around six months and she continues to have sex with him all behind her husband's back. But both she and Lou feel as if this should be no big deal because the husband made it clear he has no interest in having sex with her. I'm handing it over to Kimberly to explain.

My husband Rick* is a great man. We have one adult child who is away at school. But Rick doesn't want to have sex with me anymore. Actually, he can't. He's been having erectile issues and he doesn't want to take anything for it, so he essentially gave up. He basically told me that I should do what I need to do and just promise not to leave him.

This didn't sit well with me. I tried to get him to at least be intimate with me and that I didn't care if he couldn't get it up to have sex. I told him there were other ways we could be sexual and it would still be loving and romantic. But the fact that he couldn't get an erection just made him sad and depressed. So that stopped. I didn't think it would be that big of a deal -- this no having sex. I've never been a really sexual person anyway and figured I'd just masturbate once in a while and that would be that. But then Lou happened. Lou is Rick's best friend. He knew about Rick's issue. And one day he talked to me about it. It ended up with us kissing passionately and having sex while Rick was at the store.

At first I felt terrible about it. But then I thought this was the perfect situation. Dysfunctional, of course. I didn't want to be with Lou like I'm with Rick. But I do need sex ... well, intimacy really. And Rick wasn't interested in giving that to me. But this whole situation is complicated. And I don't like lying to my husband. I just don't know what to do but am starting to feel guilty about it. I almost think Rick would be okay with it but if he knew at the beginning. It's been six months since Lou and I first hooked up and I'm thinking it may be time to tell him.

What do you think Kimberly should do? How should she tell her husband? Do you think she should stop having sex with Lou?


*Names have been changed.

Image via AngelsWings/Flickr

cheating, lying, marriage, sex confession


To add a comment, please log in with

Use Your CafeMom Profile

Join CafeMom or Log in to your CafeMom account. CafeMom members can keep track of their comments.

Join CafeMom or Log in to your CafeMom account. CafeMom members can keep track of their comments.

Comment As a Guest

Guest comments are moderated and will not appear immediately.

Lucky... LuckyFinn

It would be more honorable if you and your husband's best friend both sat down with your husband and told him the truth. Your husband deserves to know the truth, marriage is about a lot of good things and honesty is one of them. Be considerate in this situation, and as much as I hate to say it, put yourself in your husband's perspective, wouldn't you want him to be honest with you too? As much as it would hurt to tell him now, it prevents a lot of damage in the long run and you won't have to suffer this guilt of hiding it any longer. Goodluck to you I know you're going to be ok :)

Blues... Blueshark77

Oh man, does the erectile dysfunction hit home. My boyfriend hasn't given up on treating it, but he hates the pills and shots so I'm not sure what's left. He says I can have sex with other partners and just not tell him about it, but I don't want to because I love him and want to be with him. We managed to conceive last year, but haven't had sex since. I worry what it will be like after the baby is born. He has a doctor's appt coming up so hopefully we'll find a solution. Kimberly should not have slept with her husband's best friend though. Not only can he not give his wife the sex she wants, but his best friend did. I really don't know if she should tell him who it was.

twili... twilightsbella

I think kimberly should tell her husband so he can leave her ass and find someone who will love him through thick and thin. This is no excuse to cheat on ur husband. She doesnt truly love her husband.

nonmember avatar Laina

Rick may already know. Lou had to find out about the issue somehow and depending on how deep the trust between the two men Rick may have instigated Lou approaching Kimberly. I'd talk to Lou first.

freea... freeasmahair

Well this issue hits really close to home,but not with me. My parents have this problem though it's reversed and it's my mom who told my dad to do what he needed because she no longer felt the need or urge to have sex.It's terribly sad for both parties.But If my dad did go out and find a woman to have sex with I would want him to be completely honest with my mother from the very start about it. I think Kimberly should have been honest from the start too.If Rick doesn't know about it,he may be crushed,even though he told her to do what she needed,because he may not have meant for her to sleep with his best friend.

nonmember avatar chance

Your husband that you married for better or worse has a major issue. Not inly does his dick not work but his pride is certainly hurt and now his slut of a wife is doing his best friend. You are one sorry bitch.

smith... smithsnick

Holy hell... Seriously your husband has a demasculating issue. You married him for better or worse which was a life long vow or should I say for you until his dick quit. Then to add pain to punishment you screw his best friend what a douche of a slut. Get a divorce do this man a favor. When you marry someone you love should carry you threw the hard stuff not straight onto another mans hard on. Get real your a disgrace!

nonmember avatar erika m

I'm convinced that the husband set this up. Doesn't it seem odd that the friend stayed behind while the husband went to the store and the conversation just so happened to turn into the ED...?!

early... earlybird11

So nobody holds marriage to high standards anymore right ??? That's what's going on here ? It's sick . I mrried for better or worse . In sickness and in health and I will damn well honor that. My husband has had erectile issues ( pain randomly due to a medical issue in his penis ) and there have been stretches were sex can not be carried out.... Never once did I think it would be ok to get it elsewhere. Eww . Poor guy

Jonnette Salguero

Don't say ANYThING!!! Regardless of the situation your husband doesn't want to know you are having sex with someone else let alone his best friend. Keep checking to see if your husband is willing to seek treatment for his problem and keep what you are doing on the side to yourself. Eventually he is going to want his intimate relationship with his wife back and the fact that you have been with someone else will ruin it for the rest of your lives.

1-10 of 22 comments 123 Last