We've all seen those bridezillas who get so wrapped up in their wedding plans that they turn into their friends', family's, and fiance's worst nightmare. But these women make bridezillas look almost sane in comparison. They're the wedding planners. And I don't mean the people you hire to arrange your wedding. I mean women who plan their wedding years in advance of the actual day -- long before they have a proposal of marriage. Or even a boyfriend!
The New York Times had an article on these types of women and it's kind of ... creepy. I don't want to get all down on women who think that marriage is the be-all-end-all and dream about it from the time they can crawl. To each his own. They'll either have their dream fulfilled -- or they'll have it dashed and have to deal with that new reality. But there's just something so bizarre about planning a wedding, and every detail of it, right down to what soup to serve, before you even have a prospective groom, that is ... I dunno. Crazy?!
One woman, Kate Owens, describes how as a 20-something woman who wasn't even dating anyone special, she began planning her big day. For 10 years, she pored over bridal collections and bride websites, printing out pictures of hairstyles, flower arrangements, and engagement rings. She researched locations. She found the band she wanted. And she -- get this -- even consulted with a wedding planner! GAH!
All of this came to fruition eventually. At first her fiancé was a little irritated with her bossiness and his inability to contribute his own ideas and preferences -- but Kate won out eventually. Did you really think she wouldn't?
Those in the wedding biz defend this kind of thing by saying that planning your ghost wedding gives you hope that Mr. Perfect will eventually arrive. But detractors say what I say -- this is nutso. Says a clinical psychologist: "I think for some people this becomes a way of taking away their anxiety or refocusing their anxiety away from their real concern, which is meeting somebody."
Okay, so she didn't call it nutso. She's too polite for that. But I don't think planning anything down to the last microscopic detail years in advance is a good idea. You've always got to remain flexible because life changes. Not to mention that having such fixed ideals means you're bound to be disappointed.
And let's try to remember that a marriage isn't a wedding. A little less time picking out the wedding details and a little more time picking out the groom might benefit everyone.
Did you plan your wedding in advance? How far in advance?
Image via katielips/Flickr