Laughing About Your Spouse's Ridiculous Behavior Is the Key to a Happy Marriage

Love & Sex 6

How to add more laughter into your relationshipThis week my husband was away on business for a couple of days, but before he left, he made his famous "lentil beef" Crock-Pot recipe. As you might imagine, having a pre-made meal was a huge help being alone with four kids, and I thanked him for making it.

Of course, it only involved him putting beef and a can of lentil soup in a slow cooker and turning it on, but whatever. It tastes good and the kids love it.

But when he got home the next day, he decided to make a huge deal about how awesome he was for cooking it. And you might be surprised at how I responded.

I'd like to think I'm a bit of a scorekeeper due to my near-photographic memory, but really, when you've got a husband who travels and you're home with four kids, it's really easy to get caught up in keeping track of how little time you've had alone or how many diapers you've changed.

Over the years, I've gotten a lot better about ditching the score sheet, mostly because I know how much damage it can do to a relationship. And because he's gotten a bit better about being more appreciative of what I do while he's gone.

So when he decided to gloat about the one meal he's made compared to my 40,000 (a low, rough estimate), I didn't do what I wanted to do, which was remind him of every single time I've made numerous meals for him when I travel. Or all the dinners and lunches and breakfasts I make pretty much every single day.

That doesn't mean I didn't mention them. But I did it with humor, rather than revenge.

And instead of turning the ridiculousness into a pretty big fight about who does more, we just had a hearty chuckle about his amazing two-ingredient Crock-Pot meal.

In all honesty, I still think it's more than silly for him to brag about the meal he made given the circumstances. It would be like me reminding him constantly about the one time I mowed the lawn or washed the car, two things that are decidedly his "jobs" around the house.

But I'm proud of myself that I was able to leave the score sheet tucked away in my drawer and just enjoy my husband's need for attention. Besides, as I try to remind myself, when it comes to parenting and relationships -- if I weren't laughing, I'd probably be crying. 

What are some ridiculous things your spouse does that you just have to laugh at?

Image via mooks262/Flickr

marriage, love, divorce


To add a comment, please log in with

Use Your CafeMom Profile

Join CafeMom or Log in to your CafeMom account. CafeMom members can keep track of their comments.

Join CafeMom or Log in to your CafeMom account. CafeMom members can keep track of their comments.

Comment As a Guest

Guest comments are moderated and will not appear immediately.

CPN322 CPN322

Thank you for reminding me to get rid of the score sheet. It IS unhealthy. Laughter is a wonderful thing.

nonmember avatar and?

any smart woman who wants to stay married never mentions the score sheet. it's pointless. as women we know the score and we know it will never be even. that's life and truth.

gridi... gridironsmom

Reading your linked blog post looks like a scoresheet convo...

nonmember avatar Mary

How can you stand to continue being married to your husband? You rarely ever have nice words to say about him. It's always some sort of criticism about him, something that he's done wrong, or some other way of you versus him. It's sad, really.

Leslie Arnold Loftis

I'm with you on avoiding scorekeeping, and even on the humor, but the laughing at someon can go too far. Humor is important. And ability to laugh at oneself is an essential life skill, but as marriage saving advice, laughing at each other is problematic. I overdid it just last month. It was complicated by Skype delay so I didn't notice I was hurting his feelings until I had already overreached. Laughter can be dangerous. A few weeks later, the reverse. Laughter can be dangerous. 

tbruc... tbrucemom

Mary-I agree with you.  I really hope her husband doesn't read her articles because it definitely won't help their marriage and the link definitely sounds like scorekeeping. This reminds me of when my children were babies and on the rare occasion that I would leave them with my husband and if he had to change a diaper it was "the worst one ever". He probably changed a total of 5 diapers but they were all "the worst one ever".

1-6 of 6 comments