5 Household Chores My Husband Is Not Allowed to Do

Hot List 17

husband choresRemember that Shel Silverstein poem about the dishes? The one where the boy gets out of having to dry the dishes by dropping one on the floor? Well, I thought it was genius when I was a kid, but I would never have tried it. I am way too much of a perfectionist to mess up a job like that. Anything I was going to do, I was going to do well. 

My husband, on the hand, isn't quite like that. Generally we have an equal division of labor in our house. He works, I work. He puts the kids to bed and handles baths, and I do it on my nights. But there are some things I just won't let him do.

Not because he CAN'T do them. Mind you, my husband is a brilliant scientist with a graduate level education and a high level job. But he can't seem to figure out how to scrape pots. Or separate laundry. Or cook. So he doesn't. Here are five chores my husband is no longer allowed to do in our house. See below:

  • Make the bed: I am sorry, but how hard is it really to make a bed? If you ask my hubby -- he of wet towels on the bed, blanket-hogging, top sheet-eschewing ways -- it's pretty dang hard. Every time he makes the bed, it looks terrible. It's messy and wrinkled. The pillows are in the wrong places and the top sheet is still crumpled at the foot of the bed. I'll just do it, thanks.
  • Do the dishes: Seriously, this one is just confounding. My husband can't figure out how to wash a bowl. Or hand wash our expensive German knives (NOT the dishwasher). Forget the wooden spoons and wooden salad bowls and for some reason he STILL leaves anything hard "soaking" in the sink until I can get to it. Again, I'll just do it myself and let him mow the lawn instead of screaming at him for being inept.
  • Cook: Just no. The one time I gave dinner over to him this year, he bought bison steaks rather than ground bison for the chili. It tasted fine, but was kind of a visual fail. So I'll handle dinner while he handles bedtime.
  • Laundry: As long as there are places to put clothing, I don't mind doing the laundry. And doing it myself is 1,000 times better than dealing with his inability to separate or to remember that laundry is in the wash, building up mildew. He can take out the trash and mop the floor while I fold and put away the kids' clothing.
  • Set the table: Again with the half-ass! Agh! Just let me handle it. There are PLENTY of chores to go around.

Are there any chores your husband isn't allowed to do?


Image via maureen lunn/Flickr


To add a comment, please log in with

Use Your CafeMom Profile

Join CafeMom or Log in to your CafeMom account. CafeMom members can keep track of their comments.

Join CafeMom or Log in to your CafeMom account. CafeMom members can keep track of their comments.

Comment As a Guest

Guest comments are moderated and will not appear immediately.

kjbug... kjbugsmom1517

Lol.... i think my husband does stuff half ass on purpose to get out of it. Even puttin the kids to bed is half ass. Makes me freaking crazy!

ms_da... ms_danielle_j

I would never tell my husband this to his face but the damn can cook his ass off and I went to culinary school! He can do laundry now with the invention of Tide Pods! those things are husband proof! LOL

nonmember avatar Mp

Let's be honest- with the exception of some husbands- women usually have to run the show at home and with the kids. On top of a full day at work at a demanding job, no less. And I say this as someone whose husband cooks well, is super clean, does the laundry more often than I do, etc. somehow, I still have to manage the house and kids all the time, or everything will go to hell in a hand basket. Women and especially mothers are amazing :)

mommy... mommytojack0524

I think some women would have to do fewer chores if they didn't expect their husbands to do everything their way, i.e. "the pillows are in the wrong place". Who cares? Can't you just be glad he made the bed?

I don't "let" or "forbid" my husband to do anything. He's an adult, and we both pitch in wherever it is needed. I am usually the cook, but if I'm sick or gone, he takes care of himself (and me if needed).

The author sounds a little condescending to her husband. I expect my husband to be responsible for the household and take care of things. He expects the same from me.

PonyC... PonyChaser

Gotta jump on the bandwagon here. How is it ok for wives to boss their husbands like this? Where do you think the term "hen pecked" came from? Honestly. The man offers to make the bed, wash the dishes, do the laundry and cook. But he doesn't "do them right", so he's not allowed. However, if he DIDN'T offer to do those things, he'd be a lazy cad, and you'd be bitching about THAT. Poor guy can't win. No wonder wives get such a bad rap.

nonmember avatar Samantha

I dont agree with being so picky, but i do think chores should be divided by who does them best or prefers them. Like i dont like washing dishes, but im fantastic at organizing them in the cabinets, so im on "put away" duty. Also, im terrible at folding & actually putting away my laundry, so ill stick to sorting & washing. I dont mind doing floors, while i hate scrubbing the toilet & taking out the trash, so the bf can do the dirty work. Im good at organizing clutter, the bf can mow the lawn. I scrub things meticulously, so while he scrubs the dreaded toilet, i can do the windows, mirrors, sink & shower. He can take the car to the mechanic, while i sit & pay bills over the phone. I can deal with cooking, he can set the table. I can do discipline, while he plays rough. I can do bath while he does prep. I can snuggle while he reads a story. We can both stick to what were good at, while not being condecending & controlling.

caral... caralicious

You sound like a woman I used to work for.  If you do something wrong the first time you are never allowed to do it again. I guess for some people doing everything is a real self esteem booster?

Shrew2u Shrew2u

"The one time I gave dinner over to him this year, he bought bison steaks rather than ground bison for the chili." That's a profoundly stupid (and probably fake) reason to ban your husband from cooking duty.  Writer's block?  Time crunch?  Whatever it is you suffered during that paragraph, try another tack next time.

Anyway, there are no bans in our home, but there are preferences.  I prefer to load the dishwasher (it's fussy), he washes by hand (pots/pans/knives) when he pitches in, and I appreciate that.  If he cooks, I offer to be his sous chef, which makes for a much tider (and shorter) cooking process.  He takes the lead on all things outdoor, from bar-b-que to gardening.  We both do laundry, and neither one of us is fussy about how the bed is made.

nonmember avatar tulip

My husband does all of those things and I'm thankful every day for that! If they DIDN'T do those things sometimes, every woman would complain that they wished they would ....

nonmember avatar Nikki

Not really, vacuuming is about the only thing I prefer doing because I am OCD about the floors. Otherwise I will take hubbys help where I can get it whether he does it as well as I can. Or if it's not the same way I do it

1-10 of 17 comments 12 Last