Cheating used to be so cloak and dagger. I mean, you'd have to go hunting for receipts or check bank statements to see if your significant other was stepping out on you. Now, though, thanks to the influx of social media sites and smartphones, you barely have to turn around to see what your partner's been up to.
So should you? Should you check in to make sure your partner is being faithful?
My vote is no.
With the availability of information at our fingertips, it can be tempting to see what our partner is doing in his or her off-time. He could be chatting with an ex, or chatting up someone he met on Facebook. He could be exchanging naughty pictures! You just don't know.
Until you do. And when you do know, you can't unknow that sort of thing.
I'm not suggesting that we turn a blind eye to our partners, pretending that the possibility of infidelity doesn't exist. Far from it. I'm merely suggesting that there are other, better ways to determine whether your partner is being faithful.
Namely, by asking him or her. Based upon his or her reaction, you should be able to tell one way or another if something is up.
I'd rather be accused of being "crazy" than accused of invading my partner's privacy. I think even now, in the age of the Internet, people deserve their privacy. If he's talking about me to another woman? Maybe he needs to vent to a female ear. If he's talking about a hot chick to a buddy via Facebook? He's being human.
And frankly, I don't need to know about it. Planting seeds of doubt is hard to turn back from.
If, by all means, your partner acts cagey when questioned about cheating, ask for proof. But ask for it -- don't go seeking it out. Because what you might find could be the answer ... but more likely, you'll just find out that your partner is human.
And if he should catch you snooping through his or her private emails, calls, texts, and Facebook messages? Well, that's a hard one to get over.
I say let sleeping emails sleep and do your communicating with your partner, not with a computer.
What about you? Do you check your partner's email or Facebook?
Image via NathaniaJohnson/Flickr
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Comments 39
If you don't trust a person, do not be with that person. End of story. My man and I would never snoop through each other's phones or email. He has no facebook and he doesn't care about mine. We're so straight with each other that if he ever cheated on me, I'm pretty sure he'd come tell me. And if I ever cheated on him, the guilt would eat me alive until I told him. But neither of us will cheat. Trust is a wonderful thing <3
Call me crazy but, my husband and I know all eachothers passwords, and we don't care or feel weird about it. I don't check up on him, and I'm positive he doesn't check up on me either. It's more of a "hey, while you're on the computer/have my phone in your purse can you see if so and so texted/emailed/facebooked me back?" We just don't really care. I think we both know that we are not the type of people to cheat anyway. If he ever gets THAT unhappy in our marriage, he will leave me long before he ever cheats.
I agree with elderlywoman. Is snooping a bad thing to do in a relationship? Yes, but sometimes what you find is so much worse.
I don't believe in snooping and if you get to the point in which you feel the need to snoop then I think the relationship is already over -- regardless of what you find -- because the trust (which is so integral to enjoying a relationship) is clearly gone.