8 Ways You Can Kill a First Date

Love & Learn 9

You know the pickings are slim when even Katie Couric can't get a date. Or rather, she can get them, but they don't do anything for her. Katie opens up in the latest issue of More magazine about dating -- and it doesn't sound like her fame or fortune is helping her in the game of love. She's dealing with the same crappy dates most singlets are! Says Katie: "I've had dates where we didn't click. I once went out with a heart transplant surgeon who talked about valves the whole night."

What, Katie, you don't like valves??!! Hey, we've all been there when we were single. But we could all make it so much easier on ourselves -- and our dates -- if we just followed some simple rules, like avoiding the following.

Here are eight ways you can kill a first date.

Yammering on and on. As with Katie's boring heart surgeon, I think both men and women are susceptible to prattling on about themselves too much and forgetting to ask their date anything. Men often go on about themselves in order to impress a date (only it ends up doing the opposite), and women do it when they're nervous. Don't forget to ask your date questions -- and then listen to the responses.

Expecting sex right away. This is mostly a guy thing, but I'm hearing a lot more complaints from single gals that guys expect sex at the end of the first date. Guys, guys, if you want a guaranteed romp in the hay, then hire a prostitute (though you didn't hear it from me). Seriously, you're not in an episode of Sex and the City or Girls. And, who knows, if you're actually able to wait another date or two, you might get lucky anyway!

Talking about marriage. The main complaint I hear from guys is that women will start talking marriage on the first date. Woahhhh, ladies. Sloooow it down a tad. I do have a friend who told every first date that she wanted to get married and that if he didn't want that too, this was their last date. After a year of that, she finally found a guy who didn't bolt immediately at this speech -- and they're married!

Being cheap. Sorry guys, but if we still have to be the ones to give birth, you still have to be the one to pay for the first date. I don't care if the woman offers to pay half. Decline. Unless you are absolutely certain you don't want a second date. And, no, you don't have to take us anywhere expensive. Coffee or one drink will do. But you pay. Get over it.

Talking about your ex. Just ... don't. I don't care if your date asks. Say something vague like, "We just weren't right for each other," and say no more. If she stole your truck and your dog and burned your house down, you can write a song about it later. Same for you, ladies.

Asking for a second date. This is my personal pet peeve, but I don't care how fabulously a date is going, I don't think you should ask for a second during the first. There's just simply no easy way to say "no" with the asker staring you in the face.

Making the date too long. So you meet for coffee which then turns into a drink. Fine. And then the drink turns into dinner. Fine. But I draw the line with the guy who just can't let the date end. "And now let's go dancing!" "And let's go see a movie!" "And, hey, the sun is coming up! Let's go see it!" This kind of thing might work for a 20-something on vacation, but not for us working gals who need to get up in the morning. Plus, let's save something for later, 'kay?

Saying you'll call if you won't. By the end of the date you probably have a fairly good idea if you want to see this person again. If you don't (or you are uncertain), then DON'T say, "Call you tomorrow" or "Hope to see you again soon" or "Let's try that Italian place next time" UNLESS YOU MEAN IT. Guys, women are baffled as to why you say things like this and then disappear. Stop. It.

What do you think ruins a first date?


Image via DavidNCooper/Flickr


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nonmember avatar Joshua

The only thing I don't completely agree with is paying for the first date no matter what. There are some very strong-willed ladies out there who would be insulted if you did pay for the date. My plan is to always try to pay; if she offers to split I decline once, but relent if she continues.

nonmember avatar Ashley

When a guy borrows a family memeber's disabled parking pass to park right in front of the restaurant.

Blues... Blueshark77

I have a weird one: guy's fingernails. I HATE long fingernails, period, but on a guy it just revolts me. I know that seems like a petty, physical thing to get worked up about. I like it when a guy has neatly trimmed, clean nails. My boyfriend is really good about keeping his nails short for me and in return I keep my hair long (which I don't mind anyway). This way we're both happy.

Katy Khan

oh my god Ashley, did that really happen to you? How akward -_-

@blue shark...I'm living in Thailand currently and it's very common for men to have at-least a couple of really long nails and it is so gross, I have actually ahd moments where I've caught a glimpse of a guys hand while I was eating and couln't finish my food D:


tbruc... tbrucemom

If a guy has a long pinky fingernail I think he snorts coke....is that still around or was that an 80's thing, lol?

Blues... Blueshark77

Katy Khan, that would ruin my meal too! It's such a strange thing to be repulsed by, but I can't help it. :)

Findlay Findlay

Excellent advice to which I would add make sure you really get to know someone first before going on a first date by using the excellent video chat feature on sites like www.attracion.com. Apart from anything else it ensures what you get is what you see.

rhps2000 rhps2000

My hubby picked me up in his car that had an infant carseat in back. He said he let his single mom friend use his car whenever she wanted. That almost broke the date from the beginning. I thought he was a bad liar and thought I was stupid too. But it turns out, he really was telling the truth. He is that nice! This was 13 years ago and he hasn't changed. Jackpot!!! :)

nonmember avatar Chris

What about when you go to pick up a girl and she is boring. Is not welcoming to her home and then your not even thanked for paying for dinner and the movies and then at the end of the date your not even invited in and then no reply to text. I feel like I should send her a bill for her half of the night

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