Arnold Schwarzenegger Makes Pathetic Confession About Maria Shriver

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Maria Shriver

Guys, you shouldn't cheat. Hey, don't listen to me. Listen to yourselves. Listen to your sniveling, whining, begging, pleading selves after you get caught. Then it's all, Wahhhh!!! I'm soooorrrryyyy. It meant nooooothing. Take me baaaackkkk! Here's a thought. Why not just not cheat in the first place?! I bet this is what Maria Shriver is thinking. Because her soon-to-be-ex Arnold Schwarzenegger is apparently still holding out hope that he and Maria will reconcile. Hmm, I think when it rains snowballs in hell, Arnie.

Arnold spoke with a German paper -- and since it was in German, I can't quote what he said exactly, but TMZ translates as:

We're not fighting any war. I still hope for reconciliation. I still love Maria.

The translator must have left out this part:

I know I acted like an entitled doofus, what with getting Maria and our maid at the same time, and then having her bring up the child under our noses, all the while knowing it was mine and not saying anything about it. She definitely deserves better than me. And at least half my fortune.

Isn't it odd how suddenly we are bombarded with tales of straying husbands wanting back the wives they cheated on? Okay, maybe not bombarded. But there's also reportedly Tiger Woods -- who supposedly wants to remarry ex-wife Elin Nordegren and is willing to pay up $350 million if he cheats on her again. I'd totally take that bet. (You know he's gonna lose.)

Seriously, dudes, in the future, before you cheat -- and cheat, like, hundreds if not thousands of times -- think about your wife. Think about how she might still love you too, but can no longer trust, respect, or even like you. Which makes a marriage kind of difficult. Hell, think about yourselves. Think about all that groveling you're gonna have to do. It's no fun.

Do you think Maria should give Arnold another chance?


Image via Getty

breakups, cheating, divorce, celebs