Sex Confession: I Really Like Anal Sex But My Husband Doesn't

Say What!? 169

no"Sex Confessions" is a series featuring your naughtiest bedroom secrets and fantasies. Some will sound familiar, others may give you ideas, some will turn you on, and some are dark and twisted. You might want to sit down for this.

There are some things that couples can disagree on and it's no big deal. Say one doesn't like chicken and the other loves it. All they have to do is make chicken for one and make sure the other one has enough food to be called a meal. But what happens when that thing you can't agree on is anal sex? And in this case, it's the woman who loves and the man who is saying no thanks. Tracey* is a 30-something mom of one and wife to perhaps the only man in the universe who doesn't want to have anal. I'll let Tracey share her back-door denials.

I like anal sex. There. I said it. No, I love it. My friends think that is completely weird and gross. But dare I say I like it as much if not more than regular sex. My husband Chris though. Hates it. All my friends tell me how their husbands essentially beg them to have anal and they hate it and here I am with the husband who isn't interested in anal at all. It's too messy, he says. Too complicated or something. And it kind of annoys me that he won't satisfy me in that way once in a while. 

Chris is a great husband. I love the guy. And we used to have anal about twice a month when we were first together. I've always been a huge fan of butt play -- dildos, fingers, vibrators. But I had never had anal sex until I met Chris. I always thought he was into it, too, until one day he said no to it. Then the next time, he said no again. And that trend continued. When I asked him about it he told me that he didn't like it, that it felt too planned, too much worrying about the clean-up, mostly because he can't come from anal, so we usually have vaginal sex after that but he has to clean his penis before we can do that.

We've tried starting off with vaginal but then he can't get hard enough for what is essentially round two of anal. And I want anal! I feel like I just said anal a million times, but I'm not sure how to handle this situation and mostly I feel really alone. I can't be the only woman out there who likes to have anal sex, can I?

I also feel like I do things I don't particularly love to do for my husband -- namely blowjobs -- to make him sexually happy. Why can't he do this for me?

What do you think of Tracey's confession? What advice would you give her?


Image via sboneham/Flickr