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Couples Having Two Weddings Must Be Crazy

by Maressa Brown on January 18, 2013 at 8:30 PM

bride holding bouquetWell, guess the Great Recession can't get engaged couples down! The economy doesn't seem to be stopping plenty of almost-weds from planning not just one very involved, possibly pricey wedding ... but two! Yes, having more than one wedding is now a growing trend, according to The Wall Street Journal.

But let's not misunderstand here. This isn't just about the 1 percent or princess/prince-y brides and grooms wanting to throw as much money around for their Big Day as they can because they can. Couples are choosing to walk down the aisle more than once for a whole bunch of different and very personal reasons ...

The WSJ explains that couples are opting to have two full weddings (with full ceremonies and two receptions) due to religious differences (the groom's family wants a traditional Catholic ceremony in the church while the bride was dreaming of a casual beach affair), geographic challenges (the bride's huuuge family lives in California, the groom and his smaller family live in rural Vermont), differing family expectations (oh boy, do I know about this one!), etc.

More from The Stir: 'Teen Mom' Catelynn Lowell Is Having a Meltdown About Her Wedding

Apparently the way it works is that each family assumes responsibility for one event (including much of the planning and cost), as the intention is supposed to be to alleviate stress and fulfill both sides' wishes.

As well and good as that sounds on paper, I'm not so sure I just know I personally would want to pull my hair out if faced with a "double" or, as some couples call it, "split" wedding. Maaaaybe there could have been a way doing something like that would have actually been smart ... saved us money ... given everyone what they wanted? But then again, nah! In our case, my fiance and I had to make a decision that worked best for us, then stick to it -- or else turn into total doormats endlessly trying to please way too many people. Ughh. Double wedding? Try double nightmare!

To be fair, though, I could see how it could be a great route for some couples whose families really do want to take on a lot. For instance, by going with a second reception organized by her MIL -- who wanted to invite her huuuge extended family to a party in honor of my friend and her new husband -- a friend of mine was able to keep her first wedding reception much more intimate. In that case, I could see why two weddings worked as a stress reliever instead of maker. But man, talk about hit or miss!

What do you think about couples having two weddings?


Image via allen LI/Flickr

Filed Under: weddings

Comments

9
  • Rhond...
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    RhondaVeggie

    January 18, 2013 at 8:40 PM
    We technically had two but they were on the same day. At the time you couldn't have a civil ceremony outdoors which basically meant you could have a Christian ceremony outdoors or a civil ceremony in the registry office. So we had our civil ceremony at 1pm and got the legal part over with and then had our religious ceremony at 2pm. It wasn't really a big deal.
  • carole76
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    carole76

    January 18, 2013 at 10:29 PM

    Wow, crazy.  To each it's own.  You got the money and the time who am I to say.

    I was married in Hawaii, and when I got back home we saved for two months we had a reception with friends and family.  I thought it was great, took a lot of the stress out, and everyone still got to see us get married just on the tv, playing at our reception.  


  • SAM
    -- Nonmember comment from

    SAM

    January 19, 2013 at 10:29 AM
    Ok, in Middle Eastern and South Asian cultures, 2-3 weddings have been happening for a bazillion years....old news.
  • Sierr...
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    SierraLynn

    January 19, 2013 at 2:55 PM
    Well, my husband and I eloped under strenuous circumstances of a deployment. And the only one there was my brother because he lives in Hawaii. But for our 5th anniversary next year we want to renew our vows with all of our families and friends.
  • Tipha...
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    TiphaniMommy

    January 19, 2013 at 7:52 PM

    One wedding is good enough for me.


  • SuzyB...
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    SuzyBarno

    January 19, 2013 at 9:48 PM
    If we both had family living in 2 completely different areas and we had the money, then ya, I would totally do 2 weddings. We had one because both families live in CA. Had a few stragglers fly into town but the majority was here. 300 people about! Argh!
  • SuzyB...
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    SuzyBarno

    January 19, 2013 at 9:50 PM
    @SAM my in laws are middle eastern and your right, a lot of them have more than one wedding. They'll get married in Iraq then come to the states to have another ceremony and reception with those part of the family. My in laws in particular had a double wedding in the states with my FIL's brother and his wife, it was 1000 people!!!!
  • kisse...
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    kisses5050

    January 19, 2013 at 10:12 PM

    with so many couples living together now it isnt like the wedding is a real sealing of anything.... it just a party...and a symbol so having two parties to keep everyone happy... so nobody has to compromise so nothing reallllly has to mean anything so you can just say "oh well go ahead and step on the glass at this wedding you won't have to do at the other one" why not...


  • Risaline
    -- Nonmember comment from

    Risaline

    January 20, 2013 at 2:05 PM
    Crazy? Sounds more like envy, bitter much? Asians have been doing this long ago and are still doing it today. Just because it doesn't float your boat doesn't give you the right to bash others. And yes I did have two wedding. One in my hubby's country with his family and one in my country with my family because our family are important to us and we wanted them to share our special day and our culture. By the way, most Asian weddings don't have wedding registry. It is part of our culture to give money to the bride and groom during the wedding reception. So instead if buying them a toaster or whatever, they get money. Usually they recouperate the money they spent on the wedding and reception and then some! So it is a good idea to invite the richer or the more generous relatives ;)
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