5 White Lies It's OK to Tell Your Husband Once in a While

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lying in a marriageIn a marriage, it's never OK to lie, right? We are supposed to be honest ALL the time. But let’s face it, there are some things we don’t want to tell him. And that’s OK. There are many things he's just better off not knowing.

For instance, has he ever asked you if something makes him look fat? If yes, then trust me, even if the answer IS yes, it's NEVER yes. Never. Always no. Repeat after me.

What about the times he wants sex and you just don’t? Do you ever say how tired you are or that you feel a little sick or that you had a long day even when none of it is true? If so, then you have lied. Admit it. We all do. Here are five lies it’s OK to tell your man once in a while:

1.) No, honey, he wasn't that cute: Picture this. You just left Les Miserables starring the adorable (handsome, sexy, large, strong) Hugh Jackman and your man is feeling a little insecure. If this were you, would you REALLY want him telling you that Amanda Seyfried is so beautiful, especially when you are rocking the top knot and J.Crew Saturday pants? I think not. He would lie to you. You should do the same.

2.) I have a headache: It’s a cliché for a reason. There are some nights sex just sounds really unappealing. But he doesn't need to hear that. All he needs to know is that he’s not getting laid for a good reason. So give him one. Even if it’s a lie.

3.) You look great: Men get insecure, too. They want to know how their shoes look with those jeans or if their button-down is too tight. Sometimes it's good to be honest. But sometimes they just want to hear they look good. Even if they don’t.

4.) I didn't notice you put on any weight at all!: Yes. We did. But there is a time and place for honesty, and when he is feeling low or bad about himself is NOT that time.

5.) It was on sale: While generally I am not one to condone lying about money and, in general, you shouldn't, men do get all bent out of shape about things they don’t get. Like, yes, some women pay $200 jeans. This shouldn't be that shocking. But for some men it is. If you tell them things are on sale, sometimes they relax. Sometimes they don’t. But, you know, that’s a discussion for another time.

Do you ever lie to your spouse?

 

Image via Sarah G.../Flickr

lying, marriage

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nonmember avatar Ashley

I've never lied to my hubby. He let me know from the get go that even white lies would make him not trust and I just don't see the point. You can tell the truth with tact when you know it's a sensitive subject.....not judging those who do but I just can't bring myself to do it.

nonmember avatar me

I have to say this is the worst article I've read on here. 5 pointless lies, stemming from selfishness in some cases and just plain cowardly in the others.

Lying is only used when you knew you were wrong anyway, but weren't grown (mature) enough to take responsibility.

crazy... crazysheep

Sadly i can not lie to anyone. When i am nervous i laugh. It gives me away everytime.

RobynS RobynS

I don't mind at ALL if DH talks about how beautiful some actress is. *I* talk about how beautiful they are, why shouldn't he? And he knows I have a 'secret boyfriend' (George Clooney) -- secret because, well, George doesn't know! LOL Anyway, DH is cool with that.


Headaches? Sex is actually good for a headache. If you're gonna lie, better not let him find out that bit of trivia...


I would have a hard time spending more than $30 on a pair of jeans!!!

Jessica Grr Argh

 


I have to respectfully disagree with all of these.


 


1.) No, honey, he wasn't that cute- we both understand that just because we are in love that doesn't mean the world stops being attractive. Jessica Alba is Hot. I know that, and it's ok for him to think so. As long as there is no flirting/hitting on/ or worse... there is no issue.


 


2.) I have a headache- we also both understand that we aren't always both going to be in the mood at the same time. If one of us just isn't up for it that is ok.


 


3.) you look great- We both get insecure, but if my hair is wrong, or an outfit isn't working I want an honesty opinion of that from him, and vise versa. If I don't look good one day that is ok, I'd rather be told what's up before I leave the house, and so would he.


 


4.) I didn't notice you put on any weight at all! -  I think if your partner has gained a noticeable amount of weight, and they bring it up, it's ok to acknowledge that they did gain weight. You can be nice about it. You can reassure them that you still feel the same way about them, and be supportive.


 


5.) It was on sale- in my opinion it is NEVER ok to lie about money. Money gets tight, and it puts a lot of strain on a relationship as it is. The last thing any couple needs is to have secret purchases and lies about how much money was spent coming to the surface later on. If we can't afford to spend money on a $200 pair of jeans, I'm not going to do it and then lie about it.  


 

RitzC... RitzCrackerz

I have never lied to my husband and I would still never lie to him now or in the future and if I thought a guy was cute or hot and he asked me I would tell him and he would do the same if I asked him. As for everything else I wouldn't lie those either and he would do the same to me. We are honest in our marriage no lies and that is how it should be. 

pamel... pamelam20

Eh. I agree with some of these. Mostly in regards to his appearance. I know he doesn't want to hear about his weight gain any more than I do. In my opinion, I like that he is the one person who will make me feel better about my appearance or a funky outfit. It gives me an extra boost of self-esteem, even if I know he is just saying it to make me happy. I have brutally honest friends I shop with when I want to hear the cold, hard truth!

Marjorie Taylor

I have never lied to my husband. It goes against everything that I believe a marriage should be. Marriage is based on trust as well as love. Without trust there is no love. No matter what a lie is a lie.

mrssu... mrssundin

Maybe instead of spending 200 dollars on a pair of jeans so you don't look like a frumpy fat ass why not spend 25 dollars a month and hit the gym. No one needs to spend 200 on jeans just plain stupid and no your stupid but doesn't look any better then some healthy chicks butt in a 20 dollar pair of jeans.

grano... granolamommy

i can see why the divorce rates are so high. hmm, gaining weight is a health issue more then a vanity one and lying about that could lead to a road of many types of illnesses that could help to be prevented with a truthful answer. also, tell them when they don't look good- would you really want that disservice? i appreciate it when my husband tells me something isn't flattering so i don't look like a smacked ass out in public. lying about money is a major no-no! $200 for jeans?! get the hell out of here! i'd freak if that were him.....i wish i had that kind of disposable income to waste. actually no, i'd probably do something more worthwhile then shop excessively, lie, and act like a spoiled brat who cares more about vanity then my actual marriage.

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