5 White Lies It's OK to Tell Your Husband Once in a While

Hot List 39

lying in a marriageIn a marriage, it's never OK to lie, right? We are supposed to be honest ALL the time. But let’s face it, there are some things we don’t want to tell him. And that’s OK. There are many things he's just better off not knowing.

For instance, has he ever asked you if something makes him look fat? If yes, then trust me, even if the answer IS yes, it's NEVER yes. Never. Always no. Repeat after me.

What about the times he wants sex and you just don’t? Do you ever say how tired you are or that you feel a little sick or that you had a long day even when none of it is true? If so, then you have lied. Admit it. We all do. Here are five lies it’s OK to tell your man once in a while:

1.) No, honey, he wasn't that cute: Picture this. You just left Les Miserables starring the adorable (handsome, sexy, large, strong) Hugh Jackman and your man is feeling a little insecure. If this were you, would you REALLY want him telling you that Amanda Seyfried is so beautiful, especially when you are rocking the top knot and J.Crew Saturday pants? I think not. He would lie to you. You should do the same.

2.) I have a headache: It’s a cliché for a reason. There are some nights sex just sounds really unappealing. But he doesn't need to hear that. All he needs to know is that he’s not getting laid for a good reason. So give him one. Even if it’s a lie.

3.) You look great: Men get insecure, too. They want to know how their shoes look with those jeans or if their button-down is too tight. Sometimes it's good to be honest. But sometimes they just want to hear they look good. Even if they don’t.

4.) I didn't notice you put on any weight at all!: Yes. We did. But there is a time and place for honesty, and when he is feeling low or bad about himself is NOT that time.

5.) It was on sale: While generally I am not one to condone lying about money and, in general, you shouldn't, men do get all bent out of shape about things they don’t get. Like, yes, some women pay $200 jeans. This shouldn't be that shocking. But for some men it is. If you tell them things are on sale, sometimes they relax. Sometimes they don’t. But, you know, that’s a discussion for another time.

Do you ever lie to your spouse?


Image via Sarah G.../Flickr

lying, marriage


To add a comment, please log in with

Use Your CafeMom Profile

Join CafeMom or Log in to your CafeMom account. CafeMom members can keep track of their comments.

Join CafeMom or Log in to your CafeMom account. CafeMom members can keep track of their comments.

Comment As a Guest

Guest comments are moderated and will not appear immediately.

JS0512 JS0512

We've been together for seven years and I have never lied to him.  Not even a white lie.  A) I know I'd never "get away with it" because he knows me too well and B) I just don't see the need.  If I'm not in the mood but he is (and it's very rare that we aren't in sync), I tell him that and he respects it.  But, more often than not, knowing that he is, instantly puts me in the mood.  He just brought up the weight thing the other day and I was honest with him.  Pointed out that he's getting older and his job is not physical anymore.  I also pointed out that he was still insanely attractive.

I'm not judging those who do lie, just saying that I seem to be incapable of it (to him at least).

Blues... Blueshark77

My guy beats himself up enough over his appearance and not being in perfect shape. I'm sure as hell not going to contribute to it. I do encourage him to work out, but also praise him about how strong he is (strongest guy I know) and how sexy I find it. It makes him feel good, just like it makes me feel good when he compliments me. We both know our flaws, and it doesn't help to point them out to each other.

nonmember avatar dug

Little White Lies turn into BIG BLACK LIES over time. Trust me...I've seen it happen on the wrong end. Don't lie about money. Ever. It ruined my marraige.

honey... honeydewdid

I've lied to my man but it always comes out. Like one time I just got so frustrated with our dog and the neighbors harrassing me about it when it was there fault, I just took the dog to a shelter. I felt so guilty about the impulse response to get rid of him that I didn't tell my man for weeks what actually happened to him. As for white lies, we are just so blunt with each other and we love that. 

MomOf... MomOf2AndAZoo

I'm a woman, & hell I find it shocking that there are women who spend $200 on a pair of jeans! They are going to be just like a $20 pair, will wear out just the same, so WTH?! Never in my life would I spend that much one ONE PAIR of jeans.

Patro... Patroller

I haven't bought an expensive pair of jeans in awhile, but they are much different than a $20 pair. They may not be worth $200 but they generally last longer and will flatter your body better than a $20 pair. 

Mary Ann Littleton Mitchell

#2 is the stupidest thing ever!!!! Sex is the greatest cure for a headache this has been scientifically proven as fact. My man loves to here when I have a headache because he knows that he is on deck to cure my pain! In our relationship we believe in honesty... no lies. We had the lies in the last relationships we were in, been there, done that, got the t-shirt. Grow up and don't play games with the person that you love, they trust you completely. Don't give them a reason not to trust you about little things; because how are they supposed to trust you with big things if you are dishonest? Just choose your words in a thoughtful manner; but always choose honesty. You both deserve honesty; without games!
No wonder people don't trust each other if we all start justifying lying about relationship matters... just love each other, unconditionally, openly and honestly!

HC Begley

This is not me. I have'nt lied about any of this. If I don't feel like it, or he doesnt then we just say, its not a big deal, we understand that. If he asks if his pants are too tight and they are i say yeah a little bit, and he does the same thing. The headache thing? I usually tell him if ive got a headache, because ive actually got a headache and he usually gets my pills. Famous celebs being cute? We tell each other that too if it comes up. Like there is a chance we will ever meet one, it doesnt matter. We dont sit around and talk about it but we know who eachother likes thats famous. We are also open about normal people. I mean its not something we have a deep convo about because its just not us. But if it comes up, we are honest. It's cool that others may tell the 'white lies' thats not my marriage. We just have trust in each other and dont lie about things that seem so petty.

Ranti... RantingSyko

200 ON PANTS?!  ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME?!  *I* would have a heart attack over it, Ben would just laugh WITH me...if you're spending 200 on jeans in this economy, stop lying and just get a divorce, you obviously don't give a shit about your money situation.  Seriously, if you can't stop yourself  from something like THAT and have to lie about it, just give up now, you're not doing it right.  And don't feed me that line about "I just wanted to feel like I had money for once, I'm sick of being broke!"  it's bullshit. If you feel like you're poor, you're probably poor and therefore don't have money for 200 dollar jeans, how ridiculous!  everything else, they tell us the same thing, at least give them that much.


Nina Whitehill

I personally don't have a need to lie to my man.
1. We're both Bi and if we find someone (an actor/actress attractive) then we usually drool over them together.
2. As a cliche its a really bad one, its a proven medical fact that if you have a headache the orgasm from the sexual encounter will at the very least lesson the pressure from the headache.
3. We're both comfortable enough with ourselves that hearing anything but the truth annoys us.
4. Same as above.
5. I'm in control of our money, to ensure all of our money goes to the right places. (Low income blows). But even with that, I always talk to him before I buy anything, to gain his opinion.

1-10 of 39 comments 1234 Last