Demi Moore made it okay for younger men to date older women, much to the cheers of women worldwide. It was through her marriage to Ashton Kutcher that the world first heard the term "cougar" (which, whether you like it or not, is here to stay).
People like Anna Nicole Smith made marrying a much older man part of mainstream pop culture when she and J. Howard Marshall, who was 62 years older, walked down the aisle. Not, perhaps in the most flattering of ways, but nonetheless, you can't think about age differences in marriage without thinking of those two.
But does an age gap really matter in marriage? How much of a gap is too much?
I'm of the opinion that an age gap can be a bonus for many types of relationships - if there's common ground. Two people the very same age can be as different as night and day just as easily as two people 20 years apart can be.
I don't know that society is ready to see a significant age gap in a marriage as normal. But having two different generations as a united front can be an amazing combination.
Why?
Well, there's always more to learn from someone who didn't grow up with The Internet jammed down his throat or the Beach Boys played on every radio station. Learning from each other is the hallmark of a good relationship, because there's ALWAYS something new to learn in this crazy, mixed-up world.
I don't doubt that there are drawbacks to dating and marrying someone who is quite a bit older or younger. It can be hard to understand each other sometimes. It can lead to miscommunication and misunderstandings. You sometimes find yourselves in different places.
Then again, the same can be said for marrying someone closer in age.
I'm all for whatever works, and I'm very interested to hear stories about what an age gap in marriage is really like. I'd certainly never take a big age difference as a dating no-no.
What do you think about dating and marrying someone older or younger than you?
Image via p r o m i s e/Flickr
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Comments 55
I have been in a 13 year relationship with a man that is 14 years older. There are days that I talk to my friends that I am so glad about the age difference because I could not put up with a grown man letting video games get in the way of real life. I know so many couples that all of the problems in their relationships are because of video games and all the couples I know where the man is over 45 this is not an issue. I think my man has matured me and I keep him young. I would say the only draw back is with having children. We waited longer than we should and now that we are having trouble getting pregnant his age is a source of stress for us. For us the journey has been great and we get a kick out of some of the insane questions we get asked. My favorite was when the wife of a couple that had been together since high school asked what we possibly could have to talk about with the age difference. My answer, what do you have left to talk about after all these years together? If you love each other and you click conversation isn't a problem in fact it can make for some pretty interesting debates.
My husband and I are 16 years apart and have known one another for about 16 years. I had much more in common with him when we met than I did with my male peers, just in terms of where we were in our life goals, interests, value system and outlook on life. We've been married for 8 years, and we're at a point where we are gearing up for his retirement and planning on making sure we have long term care insurance that will cover us both. There is a definite upside to this, in that I've been able to work or not work as I want when we started having children, because he has an established and well-paying career In some ways, our kids missed out on his more energetic years, but having a younger husband is never a guarantee of active engagement. I can be energetic enough for the both of us; the kids will benefit from his wisdom far longer than they will want to horse around with him.
Shrew2u-Thanks for writing this- the kids will benefit from his wisdom far longer than they will want to horse around with him.-I needed to hear this and it effected my stress level a lot. I can't wait to share this with my man that worries so much about having the energy to chase after kids.
My hubby and I are the same age, but I think that if you're lucky enough to find someone you love and are compatiable with, go for it! I wouldn't let age deter me any more than race or eye color or any other random thing. Life is too short for all that.
My partner is 13 years older than me. We have a lot in common, but occasionally the age difference shows itself. Nothing has come up that's a deal breaker though, and I can't imagine life without him. We've been together almost 6 years and are expecting our first child. He is going to be an awesome dad.
My husband is 25 years older than me! We've been married for 6 years now, together for 8 and have 2 wonderful children. We pretty much knew from the start this was it. :) I only see age as a number. It really doesn't mean anything if you love the person your with. We have always gotten along great and like a lot of the same things, no not everything but almost. He still has a kid side but is very mature compared to the men my age and I couldn't be happier.