12 Things Men Do to Be Nice That Women Think Are Creepy

Love & Learn 77

Chivalry isn't dead -- it's just following you around with a gleam in its eye, looking mighty suspicious. That's the conclusion of a new survey that says that acts of chivalry -- like opening doors for ladies, offering to carry her heavy bags, or even paying for dinner -- are so rare that women view them suspiciously. I have to say that's true. I remember a guy who insisted on walking me home in the rain after a date. He had an umbrella and I didn't, so he nicely offered to keep the umbrella over my head until I made it home. But I could only view this unusual offer with suspicion and kept thinking that he probably only wanted to know where I lived -- so maybe he could stalk me. Sad, I know. But once you get one stalker, you're never quite the same.

Here are 12 chivalrous acts women might view suspiciously.

Walking you home. As I related, when a guy offered to do this for me, I kept worrying that now he would know where I lived. The whole time we walked, I kept saying things like, "You don't need to walk me home. Seriously. YOU DON'T NEED TO WALK ME HOME." But he insisted, and we got right up to my door. But then I refused to enter until he left because I didn't want him to see the number of my apartment. Prudent or overly suspicious?

Carrying your bags. Sorry, but if some guy I've never met before offered to carry my bags, the first thing I'm going to think is that he's going to try and run off with them.

Walking on the street side of the sidewalk. I once dated a man who always had to walk on the street side. He'd even leap around, mid-walk, to get there. I began to think maybe he only wanted me to see one side of his face. I finally asked him about it, and he said that in case a car ever splashed water or dirt our way, he'd be the one to take the brunt of it. That had never occurred to me!

Locking the passenger side door. Accckkkk! Why's he locking the door?!! Help!!!

Offering you a ride home. Stranger danger!

Calling you to say goodnight. He just wants to make sure you're home.

Turning off his phone during dinner. Maybe he doesn't want the other woman to call.

Always offering to pay. He wants sex.

Cutting up your food. He has some creepy child fetish.

Ordering for you. Control freak.

Offering you his seat. I'd probably faint if this ever happened to me. That's how strange it would be.

Bringing you flowers. Unless it's Valentine's Day, he did something wrong and feels guilty.

There are some chivalrous things that I personally love and don't view with suspicion, such as offering his coat on a cold day (so sweet) and opening a door. But yeah, I agree that some acts of chivalry can be downright suspicious. Sad, but that's the world these days.

Do you ever view acts of chivalry with suspicion?


Image via smile4camera/Flickr



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Blues... Blueshark77

The only ones that would bug me are cutting up my food, ordering for me, and locking the passenger door. I don't see the problem with the other ones. If you are getting a creepy vibe from a guy then just leave and don't contact him again, but what's wrong with a guy doing nice things? You'll end up like my sister with a guy who treats her like shit, steals from her, lies to her, who would never do any of the chivalrous things on this list because she finds nice guys too stable and boring.

handy... handy0318

I realize that there probably aren't many guys who read these blogs, but just in case there are... I highly doubt if most women view most of these classy acts of etiquette as suspicious.

And seriously, are there grown men who actually try to cut up a grown woman's food for her? That's not an act of chivalry, that's just bizarre. 


Coles... Coles_mom

Obviously it depends on the context. A completely random stranger offering to walk you home? Yes- weird and dangerous....a guy you've gone out with a few times- probably just being nice. I agree chivalry is dead- and I live in The South!!! I was 9 months pregnant and moving several months ago and a TON of men watched my fat, fumbling self carry enormous boxes into my home and not ONE offered to help. My husband will at least jump in and offer to help a lady carry bags/boxes if she's needing it. I'm teaching my son that he will ALWAYS open the door for ladies- young, old, or in between. He's 6 and jumps in quickly to do that. He will also be taught to always pay for a date's dinner.

szinna szinna

Who's Jeanne?

Flori... Floridamom96

Sorry, thought this was another Jeanne Sager, blog, Thanks for the correction.

Flori... Floridamom96

Uh, no, but that says a lot about you, Kiri.

starl... starlight1968

What is sad is that there was a "drop" in a generation somewhere here that Ladies would think this is suspicious... My husband is showing these steps to dd by doing it for me and (or) her so that she know a REAL MAN is what she is looking for.  Not, a loser that does none of that with out being reminded....

CPN322 CPN322

Coming from someone who is paranoid, you sound really paranoid. I can see how you'd think SOME of the things you've listed but, again, I am paranoid. I don't think most rational women think like this.

Stone... StoneySkid

If more women were to act like ladies, then more men would act like gentlemen.

I do agree on the cutting of the food, and ordering food for you-unless you're at a high end French/insert other country restaurant and he wants to impress you with his language skills and orders a meal for you after the both of you discuss what kind of food you might be interested.

But if a man or even a young man in his early twenties, wants to do even a few of these things for you and continues to do them, that shows he was raised right. Just because a man opens a door for you, that does not mean you are any less of a woman. In a time when people hate each other for no reason at all, a little kindness like this can go a long way.

And who wouldn't want to recieve flowers any day of the week? Maybe he did do something wrong, or maybe he cares about you deeply. Stop being so scared and grow up.

tuffy... tuffymama

I think Kiri is basically suspicious of people's motives because she's shady and sharply judgmental, honestly. And that is just based on the shit she's thrown out on The Stir.

My husband was raised Catholic and was then firmed up fully by the Marines. He is a gentleman through and through. A few years ago at work, he held the door for a woman who then stopped and crossed her arms like a petulant child, telling him she could hold the door for herself. He told her, "Look, sister. I don't have all day. I'm not doing this for you. I'm doing it for me. Stay in or get out." She growled at him and stood there. He let the door close, and then watched, shaking his head, as she struggled to open it. The hydraulic door hinge had somehow broken earlier in the day, and the fancy door was HEAVY.

I guess ol girl didn't work out those arms enough by just lifting cosmos all day.

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