'50 Shades of Grey' Movie Needs Alexander Skarsgard for These 50 Inches -- Um, REASONS

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Alexander SkarsgardPacking some serious meat. Er, heat.We're in agreement that Alexander Skarsgard is one of the hottest men on the planet, right? And that he should totally be cast in Fifty Shades of Grey because the movie's screenwriter says she's angling for an adults-only NC-17 rating and that means NAKED ALEXANDER SKARSGARD? And that the reason we want to see a naked Alexander Skarsgard isn't just because his body looks like it's been carved from a tall gorgeous slab of marble -- it's also because his penis is so freaking huge, I'm shocked it doesn't have its own state quarter.

Look, I'm not saying I've seen it in person, or anything. I'm just saying that based on a certain photo that's floating around the web, Skarsgard's shlong should be on a damn Wheaties box. It's that impressive. It's Fifty Shades of HEYYYYYYYYY.

Okay, so apparently Alexander Skarsgard was at the Warner Bros./InStyle Golden Globes Party last night and there's this FANTASTIC photo of him where he's standing all tall and dapper and decked out in a sleek gray suit, but when you take a closer look at his pants, there are all sorts of things that might pop into your mind. For instance:



Because hello, Alexander Skarsgard's penis is a five-dollar footlong. He's fully clothed and this photo is totally safe for work, but you might want to sit down or something first. Are you ready? Here you go.

Now, some of the naysayers among you might insist this is a trick of the light, or a crease in his pants, but WHY NOT JUST TELL A CHILD SANTA IS A LIE, TOO? Me, I prefer to believe Skarsgard's dick is so big, it has its own agent. And I hope that agent's working on a heck of a deal for Fifty Shades. Laters, baby.

So, what do you think? Weird shadow, or real deal?


Images via Gage Skidmore, robin_24, pboyd04/Flickr

fifty shades of grey, celebs

26 Comments

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Melis... MelissaListens

Um, HELLO! :) That picture is perfection.

nonmember avatar hobieluv83

Well he is 6'4". Would you expect anything else?

Aslen Aslen

I don't think most American women would be bale to handle seeing him naked.... he's not cirucmcised! 


But OMG.... he could bite me ANY DAY!

nonmember avatar Maya

I think Anne Hathaway should play Anastasia. Although her eyes aren't blue thats not a problem for eye contacts.

nonmember avatar laura Jones

naked I'm even more for it. I have to say he is the sexyest thing on two legs. I have always said that he is my Christian. Let hope they are not Dum!!! and give Alex the part.

nonmember avatar Mae

Well, he ain't known as "The Gracious Plenty" for nothin!!

Karen Kozlowski-Gibbs

I have to disagree there is nothing sexy about that man. Ian on the other hand. Yum!

nonmember avatar Jess

Ok, theres nothing sexy about this guy. Nothing at all. AND he looks way too old to play christian, besides people, get a life, that is just a crease in his pants! seriously... grow up

nonmember avatar Ana

Alexander is the perfect Christian Grey everytime I read the books I picture him and I'd like to see him naked lol

Twinb... Twinboysmom22

Oh that is not real, anyone who knows better would know that is not his area and he would not let it loose like that in a suit at an event like that.  Now if you want to see the REAL thing that IS HUGE just google Ian Somerhalder from "Tell me you love me" full on proof and you will not be disappointed.  Plus Ian is acutally hot, Alexander not so much.

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