8 Reasons Women Don't Date 'Nice' Guys

Rant 26

For eons, ladies have been subjected to a certain kind of guy. The kind of guy who gets in your face, gets all red and puffy, and exclaims something like, "You just don't want to date me because I'm TOO NICE." Yeah, dude. It couldn't be, like, you. But there are a lot of guys out there who truly believe that they can't snag a date because they're just too NICE. Uhhkay. Hint: There is no such thing as a guy who can't get a date because he's too nice or, for that matter, a woman who can't get a date because she's too pretty. If you can't get one lousy date, there just might be something WRONG with you.

Finally, a Tumblr blog called Nice Guys of OKCupid (the dating site) calls these douchebags nice guys out for what they are. They're the kinds of guys who say things on their profile like, "I'm nice ... Too nice. So I'm working on being a dick." Here's a scoop: You already are!

Here are eight reasons women don't date "nice guys."

You say "nice" like it's a threat. The above comment is the perfect example. Someone who goes around touting his "former niceness" -- which got him NOWHERE DAMMIT -- and simultaneously bragging about his morphing into an asshole is really doing only one thing: blaming his dickness on YOU. Yes, it's all your fault that he's a jerk! When he wasn't, no one paid him any attention. Wahh!

You think saying you're "nice" is enough. You've done nothing -- absolutely nothing -- to offer up any proof that you're a nice guy. You haven't yet paid for one dinner, opened one door, or offered to cat sit even once. But you go on and on about how "nice" you are. Just because you say it doesn't make it so.

You use the term "friendzone." If you can't be friends with a woman without resenting it because you're not in the "bonezone", then you're going to make a lousy partner.

You think being nice means you don't beat women. Your standards of what "nice" is means one thing -- you're not beating us. I know guys who cheat and lie up a storm but are always talking about how "nice" they are -- because, I guess, they do all that without raising their voices.

You think saying you're "nice" means we have to sleep with you. A not-entirely-surprising amount of men on the OKCupid blog said they think there are circumstances under which a woman is "obligated" to sleep with them. Yet they also described themselves as "nice." Nice guys don't think being nice means they automatically get a roll in the hay.

You're unemployed, live with your parents, and have numerous other issues. But, really, it's just because you're "nice" that we don't want to date you.

You describe yourself as "too nice." Major red flag. Run.

Do you date "nice guys"?


Image via Nice Guys of OKCupid

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the4m... the4mutts

I do date nice guys. But not ones like you're describing lol

I have dated guys like that. Married one in fact. Then I learned my lesson, and let actions speak louder than words. I have an incredibly nice s/o that I've been with for 4.5, almost 5 years. He's not perfect, but never once has he boasted about how nice he is. He said this right now, when I asked him if he's a nice guy:

"Uuhh, I suppose I would say yes. At times I can be a dick, but typically I just treat people how I want to be treated."

I find that to be a humble and honest opinion. Much better than "of course I'm nice. I'm a great guy, I'm totaly awesome and you're stupid for asking." LoL

CPN322 CPN322

^^He sounds lovely. I'd like one please ;)

the4m... the4mutts


He has lots of cousins. Move to Bakersfield, I'll introduce you ;)

sunmo... sunmoonandstar

I LOVED Nice Guys of OKC. Sad it's taken down. I've encountered many "nice" guys in my day.

randamda randamda

Lol great article. However, while none of these guys seem very nice, there is a point where nice guy turns into wimpy pushover and there is nothing attractive about that! My husband is a nice guy, but he can definitely let his inner ass show when he feels he is being taken advantage of, or worse, when he feels his family is being taken advantage of. I got to admit as much as I love his niceness, I kinda love that not so nice side too.

nonmember avatar LizzieBorden

I've met plenty of self proclaimed "nice" guys; they're whiny, don't acknowledge their own flaws, and think women as a whole owe them something. Yep that's why they can't get dates.

nonmember avatar Tanstaafl2

It's not the failure of "nice" guys to get dates that perplexes us - it's the fact that we've all met a great woman who could have her choice of men, but goes for the guy who treats her like dirt (and the worse he treats her, the more she seems to want him)

nonmember avatar Pip

Aw, "nice" is quite possibly the most boring way to describe anyone and is usually followed with a comma and a but.

theak... theakaneko

I married a Real "nice guy"... I've known him since middle school and he got "friendzoned" by anyone he tried to date in high school or college because he was clearly in love with me (and that's not being conceited... a few actually told him they wouldn't date him because he was in love with someone else)
He doesn't brag about what a nice guy he is, he has his moments of being a jerk and he knows it, but he can attract people to him just by being the kind of guy who cares. Carrying something, he holds the door. Having a great (or not) day, he smiles and is willing to listen. But he doesn't take crap from anybody and will call you out on it, especially where family is involved.

Melissa Woodall

I've dated nice guys, but not one declared it.
They were nice without screaming it out to the world. And most guys who DECLARE themselves to be nice have proven themselves not nice: trying to feel you up while you are sleeping, getting pissy and calling you shallow when you point out you have nothing in common, calling me frigid bitch ect.
They ARE NOT nice guys. Nice guys don't rely on being nice. Nice is the BASELINE of civil conversation and social interaction.

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