Sex Confession: I Slept With My Friend's Husband

Say What!? 27

secret"Sex Confessions" is a series featuring your naughtiest bedroom secrets and fantasies. Some will sound familiar, others may give you ideas, some will turn you on, and some are dark and twisted. You might want to sit down for this.

Sometimes situations present themselves and you need to act on it right away or else it becomes a secret you feel you can never tell. That's what happened to Joslyn*, a 30-something married mom of two when she met her friend Mary's* husband John*. Joslyn and Mary met at yoga class and became fast friends. They'd do yoga and often go out for lunch after. They had been doing this for months and months and never met each other's husbands or kids. But then Mary had a birthday party and invited Joslyn and her family. And that's when things got weird. I'll hand it over to Joslyn to explain.

I had no idea Mary's John was the John I hooked up with in college. And by hooked up with I mean that we were hot and heavy on and off for all four years. After graduation John moved to another state for an internship and we completely lost touch. So I didn't have sex with my friend's husband when he was her husband. But we totally had sex before he even knew her, before I even met my husband. Ages ago. Still, I had no idea this woman who I became such great friends with at yoga class was married to my ex-love!

They don't share the same last name so I didn't even have that to tip me off. And it's not like he has an uncommon name. You can imagine my shock and slick horror when arriving at their home for Mary's party to have John greet me, my husband, and two extremely cranky at the time kids. When our eyes met, they widened. He knew exactly who I was and I may have had a flashback. It was freaky, but we both quickly did the intros and Mary came over smiling eager to meet my family.

As I mentioned, my kids were super cranky that day. They were both in one of those moods where they were getting annoyed by every little thing the other one did. So we didn't get to stay very long -- maybe an hour, but it felt like 300 hours. There was only one time when John and I sort of acknowledged our past. It was near the guacamole and he said, "Strange, huh?" And I just said, "Yeah."

That party was three months ago and I still haven't said anything to Mary. I feel really weird about it. I should have told her right away. Or do I have to? She keeps saying how we should come over for dinner or even go out just the four of us and get sitters. I really, really, really like Mary. I just fear what this would do to our friendship.

I did tell my husband, who was completely cool with the whole situation. He thinks I should just tell her. But how do I start that convo? "Hi Mary, I had sex with your husband about 15 years ago"?

What do you think of this confession? Should Joslyn tell Mary?


*Names have been changed.

Image via stevendepolo/Flickr

sex confession

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zandh... zandhmom2

I'd tell her...you can't have a real friendship when there is a secret like that involved. 

redho... redhotscorp61

The secret is bound to come out.  This was not a guy you had a one night stand with.  He was your love interest on and off for 4 years.  I would tell her.  How she processes that information is up to her.

nonmember avatar Marylena

Woulda been só much easier if she had just 'screamed'at the sight of John the 1st time: "OMG! No way! John?! MAry, you married to my ex? This is só hilarious!" something like that would have taken the tension of right away and whatever awkardness would have been dealt wiht already....This is the 21st century guys, these things happen...She should only feel weird if she had had an affair with him during the marriage, but since it's not the case...let's all just lighten up!

nena6... nena61978

I would speak to John first and see how he feels about it and both speak to her. Or have John speak to her about it. It happened years ago not recently and not while he was married to her or seeing her. If she can't handle it then it's best to stay away from the friendship

Maias... MaiasMommy619

It's going to come out at some point.. Why even try to hide it. She's not your BFF so you tell her and see how it goes from there. If she's fine with it than good if not than okay. Move on.

Maias... MaiasMommy619

But her husband should tell her also.

kjbug... kjbugsmom1517

the husband needs to speak up first. Then if mary asks then talk about it. Will be super awkward if it doesnt come out tho. How funny!

early... earlybird11

The husband and her probably need to talk. My husband slept with a very close family friend 5 years before we met and when they met at Christmas he almost passed out to see her there. He quietly told her that I needed to know and he told me that night. I was fine. Took a few minutes of shock to say ' okay I know there was a past before me. It is fine. r u okay seeing her at holidays cuz she will always be there ' everyone in my family knows bc it was best to let it out. We r 8 years past that announcement now and its all good. My husband said he was so scared to tell me but really it is not a large deal

randamda randamda

I'm going with everyone else. Talk to john, get a game plan, sit down with out the kids, and tell her. She'll probably laugh. Trust me this the first time something like this has happened. Try reversing the situation. Would you be more upset that it happened, or that they kept it from you?

laure... laurenemb

Let's remember that this is a funny situation, nothing terrible - you enjoyed your college years and so did he, then you both lost touch and got married. How fun is it to reconnect and see how you've grown since then!!


If you make it a big deal, others will too. Take the time to see the light humor in the situation, talk to John and make sure he's okay, and then tell your friend. In ten years you'll all be laughing about it.

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