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8 Ways Babies Can Actually IMPROVE a Marriage

by Sasha Brown-Worsham on January 7, 2013 at 12:09 PM

babies make marriage betterThe popular notion about babies is that they are somehow marriage destroyers. Once a baby comes along, it's fights, fights, fights, and then even divorce or the sad realization that your "honeymoon" is over and now you will never go on dates and never have good sex again.

But it doesn't have to be that way.

For a few people, a child is actually a marriage BOOST. I know in my own marriage, the three-year period between our wedding and our pregnancy was wonderful. It was great fun. But it lacked the strong sense of unity and purpose that having our first child gave us. There is no doubt that our baby improved our marriage. Here are 8 ways a baby can make a marriage stronger:

Something for Just the Two of You: Early in a marriage, things are about your families of origin and your friends, etc. But a baby is you and your spouse. That's it. You (and your luuuuv) made that. That's solidifying.

Bonding: Remember those old men who can't live without each other because they were in the trenches in a war fought 40 years ago? That's you and your man now. Late nights. Mysterious cries. Yellow poops. It's all the stuff of lasting bonding love.

The Love: There is nothing like those first few days home with a new baby and just your spouse. The love. OMG. The love. You are falling in love with the baby, yes. But you are also falling in love with each other. Again and again. And again. It's amazing.

The Sex: Maybe it was just me, but the first year of sex after my daughter was born brought it to a WHOLE other level. I don't know what got knocked loose during labor, but it was awesome.

Loss of Inhibition: Your spouse has now seen you at your lowest, most base moment. My husband had watched me pop out a human being and he still thought I was sexy. That's love. So why would I ever worry about imagined love handles again?

New Skills: Did you ever know your husband was a diaper ninja? Did he ever know you could exist on three hours of sleep and still take out the garbage? Now you both do! One of the best ways to keep a marriage fresh is to constantly surprise one another and there is no better way than adding a baby to the mix.

Because Good Dads Are HOT: Ask any mom and she will tell you that there is nothing in the world that is sexier than a man who can be a dad. Nothing. I never saw my husband in that way before and it was like new eyes.

Laughter: For me, laughter is the best part of any marriage and a baby brings SO much more opportunity to laugh. They are, after all, totally hilarious. And all that laughter? It's like a marriage Band-Aid.

What ways did your marriage improve after baby?

 

Filed Under: marriage

Comments

10
  • linzemae
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    linzemae

    January 7, 2013 at 12:15 PM
    This makes me look forward to April when our first child is due! I just hope I can lose some weight so I get some confidence back.
  • MrsYo...
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    MrsYoung1287

    January 7, 2013 at 1:10 PM
    Children do not destroy marriages!! Wtf is wrong with people!!
  • dana
    -- Nonmember comment from

    dana

    January 7, 2013 at 2:20 PM
    Beautful article...totally agree.
  • Phoenix
    -- Nonmember comment from

    Phoenix

    January 7, 2013 at 2:34 PM
    It honestly was completely opposite for me. My husband and I completely crashed after my son was born. We seperated for quite a while and then we decided it best to stay together for our son. We are together but he joined the army and I rarely see him anymore. I am extremely self conscious around him. And I don't think referring to giving birth as pooping out a baby is very nice.
  • NewMo...
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    NewMomma.S

    January 7, 2013 at 3:14 PM
    Yes, good dads are totally hot! I just love to listen to and watch my hubby and daughter play together.
  • liz
    -- Nonmember comment from

    liz

    January 7, 2013 at 3:31 PM
    Since our second which is almost a year old me and my hubby have split several times but he recently realized how much i do for him and our two boys i just hope we dont have anymore splits in the future its been very hard but we love our handsome lil guys they definetly bring laughter i think the big hardship was when my oldest was diagnoised with autism i seen it as well now i know better how he learns and how to try dealing with his behavior because he can be very violent at times. There is so many things that make a marriage work i just hope people dont read this and think oh it will get amazingly better if we have a baby together cuz it isnt always true
  • Thalkon
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    Thalkon

    January 8, 2013 at 7:09 PM

    My relationship had gone downhill after my daughter was born.  Her father kept accusing me of cheating with a friend of mine that lived an hour away, worked 12 hour days and didn't have license to drive.  So he finally kicked me out of his house almost denying my daughter her 2 month shots.  Every since then he gave up full custody to her and I've been fully taking care of her.  But, I might have to thank my daughters father for making me leave, because now my daughter has a wonderful father figure in my boyfriend.  I can't wait to see what the future holds for the three of us. 


  • Lou
    -- Nonmember comment from

    Lou

    January 8, 2013 at 7:52 PM
    Teamwork-we wouldn't survive a week if oarenthood if we didn't work together.
    Communication-there is no time for hinting around or hoping your needs are just magically met. We have to tell each other what we need or want.
    Interaction/bonding-Our lives are absorbed by a project that no one else is in on.
    Appreciation for each other-when one of announces we'll be working late, that blow is felt infinitely deeper than it ever was before kids.
  • Mom2AAAA
    -- Nonmember comment from

    Mom2AAAA

    January 8, 2013 at 11:11 PM
    My husband and I definitely got closer after our first son was born, so close in fact that 6 months later I was pregnant again (and again and again)! LOL 4 kids in under 5 years. But despite my stretch marks and my own body hangups he still finds me sexy :)
  • randamda
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    randamda

    January 8, 2013 at 11:44 PM
    I think that like everything about marriage, it depends on the people. Parenthood changes your lives, priorities, and personalities. If one parent doesn't "get with it" or if the parents have seriously different parenting styles, it can very easily tear the marriage apart. Even in the best of marriages parenting a child together takes a lot of work.
    That's why I really am happy that my husband and I had a kid before we got married, and didn't rush into the I do's, just because of an unplanned pregnancy.
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