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The Trick to Ensuring You Are Never Dissappointed on Christmas Morning Again

by Kristen Chase on December 27, 2012 at 4:43 PM

Relationship disappointment during the holidaysMy husband is not known for his gift giving skills, which over the years has been a thorn in the side of our marriage, mostly because I'm a total present person and he could really care less. 

And really, it's not that I like stuff, but rather, to me, a gift says "thank you" and shows that you care -- that you've spent time thinking about them and wanting to do something that makes them happy. The gifts my husband gets me usually say something more like "Oh crap, I forgot to get her something oh maybe she'd like this ugly jacket!"

But this year instead of being disappointed with what's under the tree, or in recent years, the "nothing" under the tree (thanks to his gift-giving anxiety), I did something different. And guess what? It worked.

If you were a little (or a lot) bummed about what you found under your tree this year, here's how to ensure you'll get what you want when the next gift-giving holiday comes around.

As much as I would love for him to pop some gorgeous necklace or fabulous handbag under the tree, or heck, even a semi-fabulous handbag, I know that this will never happen. Plus, I tend to purchase all those things for myself when I need, er, want them anyway, so there's really not something I'm pining for that I want him to get me.

He thinks I'm tough to shop for. I think I'm easy. Besides I publish a shopping website with a holiday gift guide for goodness sakes. How hard is it really?

So this year, instead of wishing for something awesome, knowing I wasn't going to get something awesome, then being pissed off that I didn't get something awesome, I just told him exactly what bothered me about this whole gift giving nonsense between us.

Being honest. And open. What a concept!

And then I told him what I really wanted, which was a nice pair of sunglasses that I preferred to choose given our differing tastes, and for him to go shopping with the kids and let them pick something out for me, mostly so that they come to learn that the holidays are about being thankful, like for those people that do everything for them on a daily basis LIKE THEIR PARENTS.

I didn't care if it was an ugly sweater or a new pan and spatula (which is what I got this year - and nice ones too). I just wanted my kids to participate in the process.

This year, he could only seem to muster the effort to take one kid shopping, which was a little eye-roll worthy but, well, whatever. That's how it goes.

And as much as the whole last minute gift thing sort of drives me batty because there's nothing like going out to the mall on the day before Christmas that says "I've had a few weeks, even months to think about a gift for you but you're not important enough so I left it until the day before," I just let it go.

Because it really has nothing to do with me. And how much he cares. It's just how he works. It's who he is. And I can either let it bug me or disappoint me every freaking year or I can just make an omelet on my new pan with my new wooden spatula while wearing the sunglasses he got me just to have something wrapped under the tree which actually happen to be pretty cool, and enjoy myself.

I chose the latter. And damn I'm glad I did.

What did you get from your partner/spouse for the holidays?

 

Photo via CS_McMahon/Flickr

Filed Under: marriage

Comments

11
  • tbruc...
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    tbrucemom

    December 27, 2012 at 4:59 PM

    I got an engagement ring. However, this writer's stories about marriage are just depressing. I get that she's in a rocky one and has been trying to work on it, but I hope her husband doesn't read them, she always sounds so passive aggressive. She either needs to move on or stop sounding so resentful all the time. By the way, I was married before, for a long time, so I get that marriage is hard and sometimes it doesn't work no matter how hard you try or want it to. Some people are just too different and not meant to be together, but thankfully some are.


  • linzemae
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    linzemae

    December 27, 2012 at 5:09 PM
    I wanted to buy a right hand ring. something cheap... around $200. We went shopping together and ended up buying him a new wedding ring (his doesnt fit) and i couldnt be happier!
  • Jacqu...
    -- Nonmember comment from

    JacquelineS

    December 27, 2012 at 5:22 PM
    Instead of hoping my husband chooses something that I might like, I tell him what I want. He normally surprises me with a few small things, but my big gift I normally know what I am getting. Which works fine, because my husband isn't all that intuitive when it comes to gift giving. You just have to know what your partner is like when it comes to gifts and work with it. If you don't share what you want with them, don't be surprised if you're disappointed with what you get.
  • Samantha
    -- Nonmember comment from

    Samantha

    December 27, 2012 at 6:00 PM
    Im young & new to recieving gifts at all from men, so its a nice feeling either way. Though my bf seriously suprised me for our first xmas. He got me a beautiful necklace which is the birthstone of the month we started dating almost a yr ago. Im pretty easy to please anyways, as long as its practical or shiny, im pretty happy.
  • jaxmadre
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    jaxmadre

    December 28, 2012 at 12:17 PM

    I use Amazon's wish list. You can add things to it from other websites (same way Pinterest works). Makes it easy for everyone without feeling greedy. Just like a registry--if someone wants to get you something, they can look at your wish list and they'll be sure they're getting you something you actually want, and can select something they'll enjoy giving you.


  • Rebec...
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    Rebecca7708

    December 28, 2012 at 9:40 PM
    If I see something I like, I take a picture and send it to my husband. That's what works for us.
  • Anony...
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    AnonyMOUSE715

    December 29, 2012 at 9:09 AM
    An engagement ring :)
  • amand...
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    amandajoy21

    December 29, 2012 at 7:34 PM

    We don't have alot of money and the only thing I ever want from my husband is for him to do something for me that shows how much he appreciates me.


  • Todd...
    -- Nonmember comment from

    Todd Vrancic

    December 30, 2012 at 1:48 PM
    I ask that people provide me with a list. That way, I know what people want, but they don't know exactly what they are getting, so there is an element of surprise for them.
  • mrsde...
    -- Nonmember comment from

    mrsdennis

    January 1, 2013 at 12:28 PM
    My Hubby and I actually create registries! They are free and we can add however many items we want! Among our list is something we really want. The other things on the list are items we wouldn't mind getting. So we get what we want without taking the surprise away.
1-10 of 11 comments

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