Sex Confession: I Have a Boyfriend & a Husband

Say What!? 31

holding hands shadow"Sex Confessions" is a series featuring your naughtiest bedroom secrets and fantasies. Some will sound familiar, others may give you ideas, some will turn you on, and some are dark and twisted. You might want to sit down for this.

Claire* insists she's just trying to spare feelings, but this 30-something mom of three is keeping a huge secret from her husband. She has a boyfriend, and she has had the same one for about six months now. Her husband has no idea. Her kids have no idea. Hardly any of her friends or family know either. But before we judge Claire, we have to know the full story. She is separated from her husband and while he hopes there is a chance they will rekindle their love and get back together "for the kids" she has no intention on doing that. Let's hear more from Claire in her own words.

When my husband and I decided to separate, it was a very hard thing to do. But after over 10 years of marriage we knew things weren't working out. He wanted to stay together for the kids, and while I would have loved to make it work, it just wasn't. I was determined and still am to make it work for the kids ... just as a divorced mom and dad. I love my ex: I'm just not in love with him anymore. And I haven't felt he is in love with me for a very long time. I just think he fears divorce more than I do, mostly because his parents are divorced and it was an ugly situation.

We tried therapy. We talked and talked and talked. But separating was the best way to do. And I want a divorce. Yeah, I met someone -- let's just call him Ed*. But I don't want a divorce because of Ed. That just kind of happened. I fear telling my ex anything about Ed because he has this glimmer of hope for us. It's hard to get the reality of our situation through his head. I do think it's great he's tried so hard to make our marriage work, but it's just not meant to be. 

I haven't introduced Ed to many friends. My kids don't know about him and neither does my family. I'm waiting for things to become more of a reality to my ex before I do that. I just don't want to hurt anyone's feelings. So for now, I technically have a husband and a boyfriend.

What do you think of Claire's secret? Do you think she should tell her ex sooner rather than later?


*Names have been changed.

Image via sidewalk flying/Flickr

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linzemae linzemae

Ultimately it is her decision but her husband has a right to know. Its better to cut him loose if he has the slightest notion that they will be back together. 

Casey Dalbey

file for divorce-thats going to be the only reality check your husband will understand. But you need to understand that you need time to figure yourself out before jumping into a serious relationship. If new guy really likes you, he will wait until you get everything about yourself figured out first.

nonmember avatar Mrs. Clark

She's full of crap. She's worried about ex using it against her in a custody hearing. If he can prove she's being unfaithul (becuz in most states it would be, even with a seperation), he can go for custody and she coulld kiss child support goodbye. In some states, her husband could sue the boyfriend for alienation of affection! She really needs to step back during this seperation. She can say she doesn't want a divorce becuz of Ed, but if he suddenlly dumped her, would she feel the same way? And, woulld she feel ok with him having a girlfriend?

nonmember avatar Frank

Im calling BS. Her husband has no clue and her boyfriend "just happened".

She led her husband on and now thinks she has found something better. Why else would she go to counseling, etc if she felt it was really over?

You should NEVER go from one relationship until the previous one is finished. Separated is NOT finished.

Her husband is getting rid if an unfaithful skank. He should be thankful.

whate... whatever82

I don't agree that Claire's family/husband needs to know about Ed right now, but the husband does need to know it's over.  I agree with the PP that filing for divorce is the reality check he needs.  After a suitable amount of time, Ed could be introduced slowly.  

nonmember avatar sarah

show your husband some respect and stop dating other men while you are still married. seperated or not its cheating and the father or your children deserves more than that especially if he is still thinking that something is going to happen between the 2 of you.

mande... manderspanders

Why haven't you filed for divorce??? If you want out that bad, just do it.

But don't string along your poor husband... If he didn't love you he wouldn't be trying or care so much.  Perhaps you are the problem?

nonmember avatar blue

Full.Of.Crap. I hope the husband finds out and leaves the whore, for good.

Casey Dalbey

I am not sure what Mrs. Clark is going on about. Most states have irreconcilable divorces. This means things like being unfaithful has no impact on the divorce or custody of children.

Karma Grant

She needs to grow up and stop stringing the ex along. Tell him and file for divorce.

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