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5 Ways to Get Your Wife in the Mood for Sex During the Holidays

by Andrew Kardon on December 22, 2012 at 2:12 PM

Ah, the holidays. The gifts, the decorations, the caroling. Why, it's enough to make any guy hornier than usual.

Maybe it's the anticipation of a big surprise. Or perhaps it's the seductive way you eat a candy cane. Whatever the cause, the holidays are a mating call for men everywhere to go get some.

Thing is, women view the holidays as time to celebrate with friends and family. Playing with your jingle bells is the last thing on your wife's mind. So how do you go about changing her attitude and bringing some joy to your world? Glad you asked! Here are a few surefire ideas that are all but guaranteed to get your wife wanting sex during the holidays!

Give her a frankincense back rub - Massages can be very sensual. Toss in some seasonal frankincense, and before you know it, she'll be equating Christmas with your oily, kneading hands. Pavlov wasn't so crazy after all, now was he?

Appreciate that holiday sweater - Admit it. You've got one. Everyone's got one. A hideous, ugly, ridiculous holiday sweater that even your regular sweaters are embarrassed to be near. Well, it's finally time to put it to good use. Meet your wife in the bedroom wearing that holiday sweater ... and nothing else.

Hang mistletoe from your belt buckle - You know what they say about mistletoe. About the kissing. Well, if you hang it ... yeah, forget it. This one will either get you a laugh or a slap across your face.

Fruitcake in bed - Express your love of fruitcake and tell wifey you want to enjoy a few pieces up in the bedroom with her. You can't have fruitcake without whipped cream, right? Once you've got the food and your lady in bed, you've got all the ingredients for one hot night (minus the fruitcake)!

Channel Christian Grey - Don't start spanking your wife - that's certainly not in the Christmas spirit! Instead, when she's hanging up the decorations, go over and gently whisper in her ear, telling her exactly what you'd like to do to with that garland.

How do you get your chestnuts roasting during the holiday season?


Image via Veronica ML/Flickr

Filed Under: hooking up, love, marriage, romance tip, sex, turn-ons

Comments

18
  • Autum...
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    Autumnleaves87

    December 22, 2012 at 2:56 PM
    Of course this was written by a dude..

    This was terrible.
  • jrl90
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    jrl90

    December 22, 2012 at 2:57 PM

    um this is cafeMOM, i don't think you'll find a whole lot of guys reading this.....


  • jessi...
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    jessicasmom1

    December 22, 2012 at 2:58 PM

    really? if that is all it takes while I am over the head cooking, cleaning and presents , then visiting ha 


  • Cassa...
    -- Facebook comment from

    Cassandra Huber

    December 22, 2012 at 3:13 PM

    Well, the husbands do get left out a lot during the holidays. As a good wife, we need to carve out some special time with our husbands. We all too often neglect their needs over our children and our own needs. I found the article nuts (in a good way), but also, had some true meaning behind it.  Ladies, stop neglecting your husbands!!!


  • PonyC...
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    PonyChaser

    December 22, 2012 at 3:13 PM

    You're brave, writing a humor piece around here...

    Personally, I like the misletoe suggestion. I've just hung a sprig over the bed. Works every time.


  • Angie...
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    AngieHayes

    December 22, 2012 at 3:54 PM

    Hang mistle toe from your belt! Thats funny, I am not giving my husband that idea though.


  • Heath...
    -- Facebook comment from

    Heather Covert McCarthy

    December 22, 2012 at 4:28 PM

    Mine could get me in the mood by either tackling the mess that got made of my kitchen last night while I was at work, or wrapping presents. Just sayin.


  • Samantha
    -- Nonmember comment from

    Samantha

    December 22, 2012 at 5:45 PM
    Everything in this article is a stupid idea except the massage.. Though after working hard a good massage will likely put her to sleep.
  • tuffy...
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    tuffymama

    December 22, 2012 at 6:22 PM
    Hmm. I tied mistletoe onto the front of my thong a few years back. DH loved that. LOL. Food and sex don't mix for me, though. Yuck.
  • mande...
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    manderspanders

    December 22, 2012 at 7:48 PM
    The women who didn't get it are clearly the ones who neglect their husbands (and probably have their husbands balls in their purse).
    This is hilarious and true. Sex is a great way to unwind and find some holiday closeness with your special man.

    Women just need to let go and get over themselves.
1-10 of 18 comments

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