3 Common Holiday Fights Couples Have & How to Avoid Them

Love & Learn 6

3 common fights couples have over the holidaysEven though the holidays are supposed to be full of love and magic, it never fails that couples, yes, including me and my husband, end up fighting. I'm pretty sure animosity is not what they're referring to when you hear the words "holiday spirit."

But between busy schedules and everything else everyone is trying to accomplish, it's not surprising.

Here are three common fights couples have over the holidays and how you might be able to avoid them.

1. The "family is driving me nuts" fight

I know this fight all too well, and even though my in-laws live far away and only come to visit for a few days, it seems way worse over the holidays. Whether it's your own parents who won't shut up, or his parents who criticize every single decision you make, it's easy to take out your frustration on each other.

Solution: Work "errands" into your schedule while they're visiting so that you can give yourself much-needed breaks. Or better, take advantage of the childcare and score yourself a couple of date nights. I've personally learned to let a lot of what they say roll right off my shoulders. And I let him handle things instead of getting into it with them.

2. The "I'm doing everything and you're doing nothing" fight

It's easy to get caught up in holiday activities, from decorating to baking and everything in between, and suddenly you find yourself doing it all and your spouse is sitting back on the couch slugging eggnog, while you do your best not to throw Christmas cookies at his head.

Solution: Talk with your partner and decide what duties he's willing to take on. Keep in mind that you might not get everything done, but better to have fewer Christmas cookies in the jar than to fight during a time that's supposed to be happy. If he still doesn't want to get involved, then you may need to decide whether it's worth running yourself ragged just to have the prettiest wreath in your neighborhood. It might be more relaxing to spend your time actually enjoying the holidays instead of impressing the neighbors.

3. The "how much did you spend on that?" fight

Every holiday without fail, I always hear "how much did you spend on that?" whispered to me as my kids open their big gift, which is quite possibly the worst time for him to discuss our family finances and gift choices. How about when I asked you about the shopping budget a while ago and you just shrugged your shoulders at me?

Solution: Decide early on what your gift budget is going to be and do your best to stick to it. If you happen to go over what you had hoped to spend, make the agreement that you'll talk about it after the holidays and not while the kids are enjoying their new pony. Ha!

What do you and your partner fight about over the holidays?


Image via Outcast104/Flickr

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nonmember avatar Jemma

Our annual holiday fight was that my ex insisted that all the strings of lights had to go back in their original packaging and that I had to do it! It took him about 10 years to finally get it that I was not going to participate in his obsession.

nonmember avatar raincityartist

I think we mostly fight about the "I'm doing everything and you're doing nothing" thing. I try to relax, but there's just a lot of stuff that needs to get done. One solution we've found is that on days that I'm working hard (wrapping, making nativity costumes, baking) he gets takeout for dinner.

Godde... GoddessBaker

We do all the shopping together. So there's no "how much was that" issue and we give ourselves limits on gifts for eachother. We live 2200 miles away, so neither family comes to visit, and we can't afford to go home for the holidays, but the last holidays we spent with family were hell. Each of us has a divorced parent...so it was the 4 Christmas' and his cousin, my best friend of 22 years, has a birthday on that day too. My family can't stand his family, because well...they're selfish, and for many other good reasons...and he can't stand to be around his long either aside form his dad, so we try to make it to everyone...it's hectic. We'll figure it out though when we finally move back home. Always do. For now, I'll be glad military life has led us here lol. As far as "I'm doing everything" I take care of the inside of the house, he takes care of outside...I cook, and he will ask if he can help often :)

Cheyanne Carnii Wilson

Every holiday we always fight because his family wants us to go to their house for Christmas, Thanksgiving, etc.. but I think we should celebrate it at our house and go to theirs when we are ready. The problem we are having right now is his father is telling us to be at his house by 8 am to open presents...but that's when our daughter wakes up and she is spending Christmas morning here no ifs, ands, or butts! I'm tired of them always wanting us over there at a specific time...they act like their son is a child and pampers him with gifts. It's really causing us to go downhill. I'm about to just tell him to go to his familys house and our daughter and I spend time together at home for the holidays or go to my familys house later on. It's so frustrating!

Kayla... Kayla-Kay

We argue about not spending time with my family. He (my husband) hates my family and says they are no good white trash so I never get to see my family unless they drive 45 min to our home which they don't because they know my husband hates them and he makes it clear they are not welcome :(



I miss them but what can ya do right? Just slap on a game face and pretend life is rosy.

starl... starlight1968

Mine is "you picked your parents over me" crap...they dont like each other so he chose not to go and I did so now I am getting the silent treament and ignored... men SUCK... I stayed a freakin hour and I have to live with this crap for how long? don't know but if it goes another day he's gonna get a piece of my mind.

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