Is this the end, beautiful friend? Are the Mayans right and we're all going to be dust in the wind on 12/21? (Or maybe I should credit the Doors or Kansas for their theme songs for the end of days?) We've been down this road before and lived to tell the tale. But the clock ... it is ticking. We'll know the truth on Friday. Until then, we shouldn't panic, because let's face reality -- the world, our world, can end at any time, any day due to the fact that no one knows the day they are going to die. So we have to live -- live life like there's no tomorrow (within reason). And why not spend as much of that time having sex? It's pleasurable. It's intimate. Let's make love!
Maybe if we all did the deed and had incredible orgasms, maybe, just maybe all that positive energy would do something to the universe and save us all from impending doom. Or we'll just go out in the hazy afterglow of sex. Ready to get it on? Here are the 5 sex positions worth getting in before the end of the world.
For fun, I'm going to give them awesome names.
- The Wall Banger - Sex standing up. I get excited just thinking about this one. All you need to do is find a sturdy wall, of course. Stand, facing each other, woman against wall. Leg up and around your guy. Extra points if your man can lift you up off the ground. Your bodies pressed hard against each other -- great for clitoral stimulation as well. Even if you can't maintain this position for long, it's worth the heat factor.
- Sexiest Feast Ever - Love-making while bent over the kitchen table. Who needs a last meal when you can have a last feast! If your table has a lot of stuff on it, swipe it all to the ground as if in the heat of passion. In fact, clutter up the table just so you can add some drama. In this position, the woman is bent forward over the table as the man stands behind her. Passionate, sexy, unconventional location, and you get deep penetration.
- Quadruple Os - Oral sex until orgasm. This is slow, sensual kind of lovemaking that really bonds a couple. You don't even have to have penis penetration in the vagina (though you can mix it up and do some of that as well). This one is all about focusing on him first, lying down, relaxed and ready for pleasure, allowing the woman to get really hot in the process. She will bring her guy to orgasm with her mouth and hands, then the guy returns the favor. The four Os stand for oral, orgasm, oral orgasm -- his and hers.
- 50 Shades of Missionary - Guy on top with props. We all love missionary, but we should kink it up for the end of days. Blindfolds -- his and hers -- scarves to tie up arms, loosely. Play around with some light bondage to tease and titillate each other. Spank if you dare! Add sex toys because this may be your last chance!
- Everything and the Bathroom Sink - Facing each other at the best angle. The bathroom vanity (or the kitchen counter) could be the best angle for your guy to penetrate you ladies while standing. And with the woman propped up, she can also spread her legs wide, even putting her feet up on the counter next to her (depending on flexibility). Wrapping legs tight around the man is hot too. Women can arch back as the man holds her waist. Or she can hold him tight, chest to chest. Try it all. Time's running out.
Will you be spending your last moments (or at least some of them) loving the one you're with? Which position is your favorite?
Image via AimeePlesa/Flickr