Sex Confession: I've Never Experienced Real Foreplay

Say What!? 9

kissing"Sex Confessions" is a series featuring your naughtiest bedroom secrets and fantasies. Some will sound familiar, others may give you ideas, some will turn you on, and some are dark and twisted. You might want to sit down for this.

Thirty-two-year-old Sarah* admits she's been with a few guys before she met her husband. She will also admit that she's been having sex for over 10 years, so basically she's not new to the romping rodeo. But what she hasn't experienced is foreplay. Real, down and dirty, kinky and wild foreplay. Her husband is just not into it she says, and apparently the few guys she was with before she met the man she married didn't either. So she's never done a 69, never even really had oral sex. Let's hear more from Sarah on how she's not happy about what she's missing out on. 

I haven't been with anyone as long as I've been with my husband. The guys I dated before, well, they were short-lived romances. I'm happily married, I should point out. I love my husband, love our two kids, and I'm very happy with my life. I just wish my husband would be into doing more things sexually. He's gone down on me maybe three times. I've given him oral only a few times. He's just not into it. I don't know why -- we never really talked about why. But after all these years -- we've been married for six years -- I want to try new things. I've never even done a 69. That may seem crazy to some people, and maybe it's not all that it's cracked up to be, but I still want to try it.

I know I need to talk to him. Get to the root of the problem, if there is one, and find out why he doesn't want to have any foreplay with me. We have sex, but it's literally two seconds of kissing, some lube, and in he goes. I want more. I think I deserve more. I'm just so nervous about talking to him about it. What if it creates a tension in our relationship? I think we're in a good place, we are happy, aside from me wanting more sexually. But then I think it's silly. It's just sex. I don't want to make a big deal out of it, but ... can a wife just get some foreplay?

What do you think of Sarah's confession? Does your partner enjoy foreplay? Do you wish you had more? Should Sarah talk to her husband?

 

Image via kainr/Flickr

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fleur... fleurdelys3110

I agree that you should talk to him, but be careful not to hurt his feelings. Next time you're in the heat of things and you think he's about to enter you, initiate to go down on him and see how he reacts. That should give him the hint that you really want more foreplay.

fleur... fleurdelys3110

Because you are REALLY missing out!

PonyC... PonyChaser

Agree that you should talk to him. You're right, you DO deserve more, and frankly, so does he. But don't do it in the heat of the moment. That might be taken as criticism, or worse, if there is a reason beyond "i just don't wanna", it could cause more issues. Some evening, when things are quiet (and the kids are in bed or at Grandma's or whatever), pour him a glass of wine and invite him to the couch. Talk to him. Tell him how you feel. But don't do it during the event - too much pressure. Taking it outside the bedroom will keep the pressure off and allow him to think about how he feels about it. And maybe not feel judged, because you know any time anyone talks to someone about sex not being perfect and mind-blowing, we ALL feel judged.

nonmember avatar sarah

if it really bothers you, you need to talk to him. something small, if left untreated, can turn into a huge problem. my husband and i call it the sock on the floor syndrome. something deep down is bothering you but you dont say anything and then someone leaves a sock on the floor and that person blows up about it. find a safe space to discuss these things. my husband and i go to the shower when there is something that is really bothering us. by the time we have worked out the issue its time to make up and since your naked in the shower anyways...

jenni... jennifer2712

Please! Im begging you.. talk to him! Foreplay is what makes the main event even worth it!!!!!!

nonmember avatar AngelaD

Oh you poor girl...I feel your pain!! My husband and I have done plenty of foreplay over the 8 years that we have been together but over the last couple years it has pretty much stopped!! I have definitely given him more oral then he has me but that is mainly just laziness on his part, he admits it lol.Come on I am only 26 I need the kinky stuff LOL I agree that you should talk to him! Tell him that you want to keep your sex life exciting and you want to incorporate a few things! That is not a lie its just a more gentle way to say that u need more then lube and a quicky :-) If you guys were doing the forplay u wouldnt need lube lol :-)

Dartania Winters

Talk to him and also show him what you want. He may not be experienced or he may have had some issues in the past that he doesnt want to relive. But forplay is great if done right.

nonmember avatar 50 shades in CT

i had my husband read Fifty Shades of Grey this past summer (he's almost finished with the 3rd book in the series now). let me tell you - his reading the book (after i'd read the full series 3 times) opened the door to conversation & (VERY MUCH like you) FOREPLAY!!! We'll have been married for 20 years this summer - and prior to his reading the books - not sure we'd have planned a 20th anniversary at all. NOW we are closer than ever - basically because sex is no longer obligitory 4 times a year (his b-day, anniversary, new years & valentines day) we want it ALL the time - he's become very brave with foreplay and enjoys it more than i do sometimes (I've even told him a couple of time - enough is enough! f**k me already! LOL) I should note that we'd only had 3 partners each before marrying each other... SO - my advice - grab a steamy novel (there are literally thousands - and i've been reading 'em ALL) fold a hot page or two & leave the book where he'll find it... - well - you'll want to read the book first - hahaha! good luck!

nonmember avatar Dave

Talk to him! Even if he doesn't like it, he shouldn't deprive you from the pleasure. I really enjoy the foreplay, and so does my partner. It's what makes love making so exciting.

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