Skipping Your Spouse’s Christmas Gift Now Is a Good Way to Hate Each Other Later

Love & Learn 26

gifts under Christmas treeQuick! Want to spend Christmas pissed off at your significant other and hating yourself for it? Agree to a no-present Christmas, and you'll be right on track!

Never heard of such a thing? Count yourself lucky. It's a trend I'm noticing a lot more this year -- maybe because of the recession, maybe because I'm just paying more attention. Couples talk out the holidays and decide that they are going to buy bupkis for one another. Not a stocking stuffer. Not a trinket. NOTHING.

If you are one of those couples, can I offer a word or two? Abort mission! Abort, I say!

Ladies and germs, I have been there. It sounds like a nice, simple way to head off the headache that is trying to find the perfect gift for someone you love. And don't even get me started on the money savings. I'm one of those women who prefers the term frugal over tight-fisted ... for a reason.

But there is nothing more depressing than waking up on Christmas morning, wandering out to the Christmas tree, and not finding a single thing with your name on it.

Some will call the sentiment you feel materialism. I'll dig deeper. Because, let's be honest. Gifts under the tree don't have to cost money, at least not much. Your favorite candy bar is not going to break the bank, but it is going to put one heck of a smile on your face, right? Or maybe a handwritten letter, reminding you that you are truly love and valued?

Even if you agreed to no presents, it's still hard facing the result when someone actually goes through with it!

The weight that settles in your stomach when you wake up to a no-present Christmas is a feeling that no one could be bothered to take a few moments and do something nice for you, that the people you love most were unwilling to give even a little of their time to brighten your holiday.

It may save you money. But it also hurts. And more often than not, it ends up breeding resentment, along with some self-loathing because, hey, you agreed to it, didn't you?

So please, we've got a week left. Do something, anything, to stop this!

If the holidays are really supposed to be about being with the ones we love, why are we willing to forgo showing the people we love just how much?

Do SOMETHING for one another. Write a letter. Set a $10 spending limit. Something!

Would you be able to skip buying Christmas gifts for your significant other? How would you feel if you didn't get something under the tree?


Image via futureshape/Flickr

marriage, love


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IKnow... IKnow0101

I think two years ago I didn't get anything for Christmas.  We bought for the kids and I did buy my husband  some clothing he needed but I didn't notice I didn't open anything.  My husband feels so bad about it he's been trying to make it up ever since.  But normally I don't usually want anything accept to spend a day in bed or something like that.

the4m... the4mutts

In 5 years, I have now gotten 3 gifts, ever. No holidays, bdays, nothing. Just 3 gifts. 2 shitty ones, and then he decided to get me an early christmas present today. HE BOUGHT ME MY FIRST HANDGUN!!! I'm so thrilled!

Not getting gifts never bothered me, because I would rather have no gift, than a shitty gift. But this year, I get a gift and its good!!

nonmember avatar laura

we give each other gifts if we can afford it, however the past few years have been tough. i would rather give to my kids and get a small thing or two from them. my husband and myself will give each other a "gift" every so often just because. i got him a tiny one serving of ice cream the other day because he has been good and hasn't bought himself any in quite a while. he got me my favorite cookie because he knows i will not get one for myself. i don't worry he doesn't love me because i didn't get anything from him, i know he does by how he treats me everyday. besides i would rather go on a date and spend that money at dinner, rather than just get "something" because it is Christmas.

momto... momtolittleg

This year we've agreed that only our DD will get us gifts.  Since she's 4, that mean we really are steering her toward what to buy.  We have to put a limit on it, because otherwise I'll get DH some underwear and he'll get me a diamond necklance or something.  He goes WAAAAAY overboard with gifts.

Lucky for him my birthday is the 26th, so he can buy me whatever he wants for that occasion.  =)

we2an... we2angels

I don't get things and yes it hurts. :-(

nonmember avatar Tanstaafl2

I've reached that point in life where everything on my Christmas list is a verb anyhow.

amand... amanda_mom89

We normally do something small but this year we spent a lot having to move and we really didn't want to take away from what we were doing for the kids to buy for each other.

So we had kid free night.. Went to dinner and watched a movie at home.

We'll do gifts after Christmas. No biggie. :)

Nellie Athome

Wow..... how materialistic. We have not given holiday or birthday gifts to each other for probably ten years or more of the 20 years we have been together. Among other things it allows us to focus on the meaning of the holidays instead of material items....

Karin... KarinJune

I have been with my hubby , well, it will be 31 yrs end of Feb. He does not do "holidays" But he picked me up at lunch with beatiful opal earrings, because I had mentioned I had the ring but no earrings. He came home once with a cd I had wanted, but he had filled the space with a bracelet I wanted. I NEVER get "things" on set holidays. Almost 31 yrs. so what.  HE LOVES ME!

Beth McCormack Bernitt

what about stockings? just do,  stockings! I'm sorry for $15 you can really tickle someones funny bone and still not blow the bank ...Stockings every year no matter the DEAL!

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