My husband and I have been living apart from one another for the past three months while we move from our current home to our new one that is 300 miles away. Our kids are finishing up the school semester in our current home, so Monday through Friday, they are with me while my husband stays in a hotel near his new job.
It's exhausting, it's hard, and it's overwhelming at times. The absence has made me miss him in so many ways. I miss having someone I can chat with at the end of my day. I miss having him to bounce ideas off of at night (the phone is just not the same). I miss his advice, his companionship, his friendship, and his presence in my bed, especially late at night when things get scary.
But it also has its good side.
My husband and I have known one another for 25 years. We have been friends most of that time and together for nearly 12 years. We know each other inside and out, and yes, like any couple, we take each other for granted.
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I have always assumed that I have his help and support, so I don't really "appreciate" it. Now that there is no one to pick up the ketchup on the way home from work or get the kids dressed in the morning while I finish something I am working on, I am so aware of the times he is home and the help he provides. I practically weep with joy when I hear his key in the lock and I know he is back, and I always cry when he leaves.
The times when he is home are explosive and passionate in the bedroom and loving and warm outside the bedroom. As much as I am thrilled these weeks apart are coming to a close (we are hopefully finally moving next week), I also wonder: Can we stay so close AND live in the same place?
I doubt it.
The appreciation (and the hot sex) that happens due to absence can't really be re-created once we are back together 24/7. It's such a shame.
Really, the fact is we get married and live together so long, we think the other person will always be around. But the truth is, in the scheme of things, our time together is a blip. It's so short. We SHOULD be appreciating every second. But the dishes and the laundry and the bills always seem to help us forget.
Well no more dammit. I am going to try my hardest to keep this clarity in my heart so I remember even when my hubby is driving me up a wall when he buys zucchini instead of cucumber or almond milk instead of rice milk that I am grateful and happy to have him in my life and I miss him terribly when he is not around.
I predict that promise will last about a week.
Do you appreciate your spouse?