I have a very good friend who broke up with her boyfriend just as the holiday season hit. It was bad timing, to be sure. But it's not like she planned to go through a painful split when just about everyone else in the world was celebrating love, peace, and togetherness. It just happened that way. Needless to say, she has been in a less than festive mood.
It has been hard to face those parties and family gatherings she has attended with her ex for years. Not to mention all those lovey-dovey commercials and feel-good romantic movies. Yes, it's hard, but there are ways to survive these so-called merry months even when you are suddenly single.
- Girls' night! It's easy to stay at home alone having a pity party. Force yourself to meet up with friends even if it's just for a movie or to watch a Real Housewives marathon. You need that camaraderie right now. These are the folks that will make you laugh and take your mind off things.
- Volunteer. Serving meals at a church or spending time mentoring an at-risk kid will give you some much needed perspective. Yes, you are heartbroken, but there are bigger problems in the world. You may not be able to fix your relationship, but you can definitely help someone else in a significant way just by giving your time. I promise it will help you feel better.
- Surround yourself with people on your side. There are two sides to every split, but who cares about his. You need people around you that are going to remind you how great you are and what a jackass he is. Yes, it may not be the most mature move, but totally necessary as you try to navigate through the inevitable regret and sadness. You will need them to remind you of his many, many unforgivable faults, especially when you start to think about taking him back because you are lonely.
- Break a sweat. Don't hit the gym in an attempt to sculpt a hot body that will have him begging to take you back. Exercise has much more important benefits. It releases mood enhancing endorphins, it is a great stress reliever, and it can help you work out all of that tension you've built up.
- Don't answer any questions you don't want to answer. Once word gets around that it's over, you will field questions from friends, family, coworkers, your Starbucks barista, basically anyone who knew you as a couple. Don't feel obligated to explain. Allow yourself time to process your emotions and figure out things for yourself. However, if you want to rant, by all means, rant. Point is, do what makes you feel best in that moment. It's all about you and your emotional needs right now.
- Splurge on something. There is something about buying yourself something nice that always makes you feel better no matter what is going on. I'm not saying break the bank on a car or condo you can't afford. Just go for a manageable indulgence that you can buy outright or pay off quickly. This is a temporary emotional boost, of course. But it's nice to do something extra for yourself during this time of the year, especially when you are a bit down.
What are other ways to survive the holidays after a breakup?
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