11 Ways to Move On When He's Moved On Without You

Love & Learn 2

Ugh, did you ever think you'd see the day when Kelly Taylor, most popular, beautiful girl at West Beverly Hills High, would be dumped and left heartbroken?! But real life isn't fictional high school, and Jennie Garth, who is famous for playing Kelly, has recently divorced her husband and father of her three kids, Twilight actor Peter Facinelli. Jennie has been clear that she didn't want the divorce -- he did.

She's also confessed she hates dating. But we can't say that about her ex. He's already stepping out with a new girlfriend, 28-year-old Jaimie Alexander. Not only that, he and Jaimie have known each other for years! Life is totally unfair, I say! Pictures of Jennie walking around with her daughter, Lola, show her looking stylish but totally crestfallen. Ugh. Ugh. Ugh.

Here are 11 ways to handle your ex moving on -- when you haven't.

Don't compare. Comparing yourself to your ex's new woman is just an exercise in self-torture and futility. He's not necessarily with this new woman because she has qualities you don't. You don't know why he's with her. Could be a rebound. Maybe he can't bear to spend any time alone. The point is, she has nothing to do with you.

Don't stalk her. Stay off her Facebook wall and most definitely do not pretend to be a journalist doing a story on her and meet her for lunch. (Not that I've ever done anything of the kind, ahem. JK.) This stuff usually just comes back to bite you in the ass. Plus, if you've got kids, the last thing you want to look like is a crazy stalker or it could be held against you in court.

Don't threaten her. You saw how that worked out for Paula Broadwell.

Don't get jealous. This is a hard one, but intense jealousy might cause you to try and lure him back into the fold, even though you know you're much better without him. It may not really be that you still love him, but that you want to "win." But what are you winning, exactly?

Don't sleep with him. If he's sleeping with someone else, or even dating other people, stop all intimate contact and efforts to "work it out." This will just escalate into something not so pleasant.

Concentrate on yourself. You may not be ready to date, but instead of thinking about him and her, think about yourself. Take classes. Exercise. Spend time with good friends. Take that vacation you always wanted but couldn't do because doofus didn't want to go there.

Ask something else. Every time you find yourself asking something about him or her, turn it around to ask yourself a question. For instance, instead of asking, Why does he want her and not me? Ask, Why do I want him when he wants her?

You were not replaced. Instead of getting the storyline in your head that you were "replaced," try to see it as it really is. Your relationship didn't work. He found someone else. End of story. No need to beat yourself up with ideas that he used you up, replaced you with someone younger or prettier, etc. As human beings, we desperately try to make everything last forever, but that's not reality.

Look forward. Think about all of the bad things about your relationship. Be realistic. Make a list of things that made you unhappy. Be honest. Now think about all the things you can do and be without him around.

Don't hate her. Especially if you have kids, there may come a time when he wants to introduce them to his new girlfriend. Try not to get all Brandi and LeAnn about it. You can explain to your kids when they're adults what happened, but as kids, they don't want to hear the nitty-gritty about how dad is such an awful person and his girlfriend is a whore.

Go easy on yourself. You'll have days where you feel worthless and like crap, but know that they will pass. Don't let your mind run narratives such as, "He likes her better than me because I wouldn't do what he wanted in bed. I should have experimented more. He likes her because she's skinny. Why didn't I lose weight?" You're going through enough right now without letting your mind be cruel to you too.

Have you had an ex move on before you? What did you do?


breakups, celeb moms