Sex Confession: My Husband Loves to Use Sex Toys ... On Himself

Say What!? 23

messy bedSex Confessions" is a series featuring your naughtiest bedroom secrets and fantasies. Some will sound familiar, others may give you ideas, some will turn you on, and some are dark and twisted. You might want to sit down for this.

Thirty-two-year-old Jeanie* is sharing her dirty little secret today. Well, really it's her husband's secret. You see, Mr. Jeanie loves to play with sex toys. Jeanie was totally game when he first suggested it and just assumed that meant there would be some more buzzing pleasure for her. She never thought he meant he wanted sex toys for himself. And she's a little weirded out about it. She realizes it's a double standard, but can't shake the feeling that it's just odd. It makes her feel inadequate. Let's read what Jeanie has to say.

My husband and I are that couple that never had any kind of issue in the sex department. Even after two kids. Sure, it's hard to find time, but we do and manage to have sex at least twice a week. Which in my world, with my group of friends, that seems to be a lot. So we're trucking along, having great and frequent sex and one day Mr. Jeanie decides he wants to use sex toys. Sounds great, I tell him, and ask him to pick some up. He does. And when he whips them out they are all for him.

It's like knowing someone went to the candy store to buy you something but they come home with the one thing you don't like.

He bought the Fleshlight which is a thingy he puts his penis in INSTEAD of my ... you know. And an anal tickler that's supposed to stimulate his prostate. Nothing for me. And he wants me to use these on him. Call me a prude, but I just wasn't into this. And I couldn't help but feel I was doing something wrong or that my vagina wasn't good enough for him because he basically bought a fake vagina that didn't squeeze two kids out of it.

I played along the first time and didn't enjoy it. He did. But we also had great sex afterward. When I mentioned this whole thing to one of my friends she was so freaked out she told me she could never look at Mr. Jeanie the same way again. So I've silenced myself ... until now. I need advice. Is this weird? Should I be worried? Do other husband's use sex toys like mine wants to? Help!

What do you think of Jeanie's confession? Do you think she needs to be worried? Shouldn't she talk to him about her comfort level with the whole thing so they can compromise?


Image via scarycurlgirl_photos/Flickr

sex confession, sex toys


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nonmember avatar Samantha

This probably just means he needs something new, a little more excitement. Just be glad hes seeking this out & involving you, instead of cheating. It is weird, but im pretty sure more guys do it than we as general population are aware of. Its normal to explore things that arent the norm, this seems to be just part of it.

tbruc... tbrucemom

I'm torn about this. On one hand, you can use the same arguments when a woman buys a sex toy that she'd rather have that than her partner's penis. On the other hand, I would find it disturbing to use an anal tickler on my BF or watch him do it with a fleshlight.

Bloom... Bloomie79

Totally normal, I say go back to the store and get what you want... They give yourself a high five because your husband loves you and feels you love and accept him enough to bring this to you. You may not love his toys but give them some time, great foreplay makes for great sex.

twweaty twweaty

Well.. im very open in the bedroom... to most anything.. so my point of view is diffrent. BUT.. what about the two of you go shopping together, and get some things for you also.... Go into it with an open mind... although it may be very odd to you... maybe you coiuld adjust? and maybe talk to him about, if you help him with those things (im assuming these were fantacys of his) then he can help you with yours... like a trade off.. Dont feel like your vagina isnt good enough.. im sure he's just interested in new things.. it can be very exciting for some people to try new things.. I would say try and open your mind for your husband.. sit down and talk about what exactly he wants, maybe talk about what you are or are not willing to do.. or something you might try, but let him know how you feel... communication is key, as we all know, and it doesnt stop being importnant in this instance either! Good luck!

nonmember avatar Cee

So when husbands use vibrators on their wives its cool but when guys use toys its not? Just like a woman uses a sex toy before/after/during sex to reach or intensify an orgasm or to add something more to the sexual experience, a man will do the same. Males don't need vibrators, they need something for penetration, so he uses that. Its good he shares this with you. I mean youre basically manually stimulating him. Also, your friend is a judgmental prude.

nonmember avatar Cass

I don't think you should be bothered by the tickler (though I'd find it strange), but the fleshlight seems odd to me. Unless one of you is gone for long periods of time, there really isn't a reason for it (ideally)... But if you have and use a vibrator, it's unfair to complain. It was inconsiderate of him to not get you something to try, though.

nonmember avatar melissa

I bet this is just this tip of the iceberg. Be prepared to get freaky with your husband or he will get freaky w/o you.

Wheep... Wheepingchree

Even though it's something that may seem you, like another comment said, I would be happy and feel respected that my husband was involving me in his fantasies. He obviously trusts you and feels accepted and that's wonderful. Like others said, go shopping together and show him what you like also. You guys clearly have a trusting, committed, great relationship. Be Happy!

nonmember avatar Tanstaafl2

One - the only thing I fault him for is being selfish and not getting any toys to use for her pleasure.

Two - What the hell is she doing telling her friends details of their private sex life!?

Mindy... Mindymama

She should be worried.

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