I've heard some nutty theories in my time, but this one takes the prize. A new book, Challenging Casanova, is claiming that whole thing about men wanting to screw as many women as humanly possible before they die is a load of hogwash. That, in fact, the majority of dudes just want to be with one woman. And no, this isn't an article by The Onion. The book's author (a man) is quite serious. But yet I'm laughing. Sorry.
Well, if true, this would certainly be good news, right? We ladies could relax a bit. We could actually have kids without worrying our guy is gonna replace us with a younger version one day, cause that never happens, right? We certainly don't have to worry about that hot coworker of his. He always says he never notices her and maybe he's telling the truth! (More laughter.) Well, let's check out what this highly deluded optimistic author has to say ...
Psychology professor Andrew Smiler -- surely a traitor to the player cause -- writes that far from wanting to hump every female they see, guys actually just want to settle down with one gal and be monogamous. Um, but for how long are we talking, Andy?
Well, according to the author, 75 percent of men want just one partner for the next month. And the rest want two (or more). So ... one month, seriously? That's as far ahead as they go?
Anyway, Smiler says that the media blows up these stories of cheating men (hello Arnold, Tiger, Jesse James, David Petraeus, etc., etc., etc., etc. ...), but in reality guys are just looking for that special someone with whom they can have an emotionally intimate relationship (For the whole month! Whee!). He told Jezebel:
The Casanova myth is so deeply ingrained that people are convinced that boys who claim to want relationships rather than casual sex are either incredibly rare, or full of crap.
Well, forgive me for sounding cynical, Mr. Smiler. I've been hit on by enough married guys in my life to take all of this with a grain of salt. Maybe I happened to get these dudes on the wrong month? He also says that this "myth" of the cheating male makes women act suspicious and cynical around guys, as they wait for the inevitable "betrayal."
Hey, I guess these ladies didn't know about Monogamy Month. Smiler also says there are three groups of men: Ones who are players and want more than one sexual partner; ones who are religious and abstinent until marriage; and ones that want monogamy. And the last group is by far the most common. But define "want" is what I say. "Want" might mean, "This is what I think I can get away with. So I'll stick with it for now." I know. Cynical.
Look, I'm not saying all men are cheaters. But I think most guys would love to bang another woman if they could ... and not get caught. Or maybe they truly love their wives and don't want to cheat, but they still lust and fantasize. Which is fine. Long as they keep it in their pocket.
Do you think men really want to be with just one woman?
Image via Wiley