Men Only Really Want One Woman, Says New Book -- Who's Buying This?

Eye Roll 11

I've heard some nutty theories in my time, but this one takes the prize. A new book, Challenging Casanova, is claiming that whole thing about men wanting to screw as many women as humanly possible before they die is a load of hogwash. That, in fact, the majority of dudes just want to be with one woman. And no, this isn't an article by The Onion. The book's author (a man) is quite serious. But yet I'm laughing. Sorry.

Well, if true, this would certainly be good news, right? We ladies could relax a bit. We could actually have kids without worrying our guy is gonna replace us with a younger version one day, cause that never happens, right? We certainly don't have to worry about that hot coworker of his. He always says he never notices her and maybe he's telling the truth! (More laughter.) Well, let's check out what this highly deluded optimistic author has to say ...

Psychology professor Andrew Smiler -- surely a traitor to the player cause -- writes that far from wanting to hump every female they see, guys actually just want to settle down with one gal and be monogamous. Um, but for how long are we talking, Andy?

Well, according to the author, 75 percent of men want just one partner for the next month. And the rest want two (or more). So ... one month, seriously? That's as far ahead as they go?

Anyway, Smiler says that the media blows up these stories of cheating men (hello Arnold, Tiger, Jesse James, David Petraeus, etc., etc., etc., etc. ...), but in reality guys are just looking for that special someone with whom they can have an emotionally intimate relationship (For the whole month! Whee!). He told Jezebel:

The Casanova myth is so deeply ingrained that people are convinced that boys who claim to want relationships rather than casual sex are either incredibly rare, or full of crap.

Well, forgive me for sounding cynical, Mr. Smiler. I've been hit on by enough married guys in my life to take all of this with a grain of salt. Maybe I happened to get these dudes on the wrong month? He also says that this "myth" of the cheating male makes women act suspicious and cynical around guys, as they wait for the inevitable "betrayal."

Hey, I guess these ladies didn't know about Monogamy Month. Smiler also says there are three groups of men: Ones who are players and want more than one sexual partner; ones who are religious and abstinent until marriage; and ones that want monogamy. And the last group is by far the most common. But define "want" is what I say. "Want" might mean, "This is what I think I can get away with. So I'll stick with it for now." I know. Cynical.

Look, I'm not saying all men are cheaters. But I think most guys would love to bang another woman if they could ... and not get caught. Or maybe they truly love their wives and don't want to cheat, but they still lust and fantasize. Which is fine. Long as they keep it in their pocket.

Do you think men really want to be with just one woman?


Image via Wiley

love, marriage, lying, cheating


To add a comment, please log in with

Use Your CafeMom Profile

Join CafeMom or Log in to your CafeMom account. CafeMom members can keep track of their comments.

Join CafeMom or Log in to your CafeMom account. CafeMom members can keep track of their comments.

Comment As a Guest

Guest comments are moderated and will not appear immediately.

puasa... puasaurusrex

I think you are a very bitter and cynical woman.

dirti... dirtiekittie

ouch. scorned much, kiri? my husband is quite happy to be a monogamous, one-woman-man. he didn't sleep with a ton of women before we were together, nor did he feel the need to do so either. everyone has their own wants and desires, and for some people (that's both genders, mind you) one person is all they need. some people want to sleep around. some people believe in polyamory. to each his own.

also, it's kind of rude to call the author deluded just because he says there are honest, faithful men who want to be in monogamous relationships. judgemental of men much?

the4m... the4mutts

I hope you mean hit ON by married guys... no hit by.

And while this particular book sounds like hogwash, the concept is not. Most men DO want to settle down with ONE after about age 25-29. There are no guarantees in life, but that doesn't mean the man didn't enter into the commitment with the best of intentions.

And I agree with p-rex^^. You sound bitter.

fave82 fave82

Bitter much? I think your ex fucked you up more than you would like to admit, kiri! Also sounds likesha you havent been exposed to many normal healthy relationships/marriages in your life. Sad!!

hello... hellokd87

I can believe the article. Case in point, my fiancee said he used to watch National Lampoon's movies when he was younger because he thought Beverly D'Angelo was hot. Yesterday we saw the new ad from Old Navy with her, Juliette Lewis & Chevy Chase in it. When it finished he was like "That was a really good commercial, it was funny". I made a snarky comment saying, "Yeah, I know why you like it." he looked at me confused. I told him she was in it and he said he didn't even notice. Then he proceeded to rewind it to see if I was telling the truth.

nonmember avatar visitor

The only guys who get the press are the liars,serial cheaters etc.The 1-woman-guys who don't cheat don't sell magazines,gossip columns,tv by proxy there are alot of women who see all these guys acting like the Jesse James,Tigers of the world (or have had a bad experience w/an idiot who cheated) and actually believe most guys are like that.If you actually think most guys are like this you'd be wrong,id suggest moving on to a better class of men if thats the case.Most dudes don't cheat period Fwiw,alot of people who cheat are insecure and are looking for some kind of validation through their multiple affairs.

Felip... FelipesMom

If he really said guys want only one woman for A MONTH at a time, then this whole article is pointless because YOU ARE BOTH MAKING THE SAME POINT, aren't you? If a guy married you and then wanted some other chic a month later, he would meet your expectations of a cheater AND this author's definitions of a monogamous guy, right?

Angie... AngieHayes

Some guys just want one and some guys want more, you have to pick the right guy.

Dale Dupree

Keri - I think it's your attitude that's atracting the wrong men. I met the right lady and there is no one else for me.

1-10 of 11 comments 12 Last