Meeting new people is hard. I guess it's the very real fear of rejection that prevents most of us from going up to a stranger and introducing ourselves, but sometimes, we gotta get over it. Especially if that stranger is 6'2" and alone at the end of the bar.
There's something to be said for waiting for the guy to make the first move, but really, who has the time? Why not take matters into your own hands, and heart, and walk on over to that handsome devil sipping an IPA all by his lonesome? Sure, it sounds intimidating, but here are 5 great reasons you should make the first move.
First of all, is there anything hotter than confidence? Being the one to initiate conversation shows you ain't afraid of nothing. You know you're cool, smart, and darn good looking and worthy of a gentleman caller such as himself. He'll admire your bravery, your gregariousness, and hell, he might even admire your new Madewell boots. (Pro tip -- if he starts complimenting everything you're wearing down to your Alexis Bittar earrings, you may be barking up the wrong tree. But hey, finding new friends with similar style sensibilities is never a bad thing!) Your self-assurance is sexy, and because you're the one who started chatting him up, you're already up a point in his book. Go you.
Second of all, making the first move means you get to set the tone. Did you want to talk about the game? Or the fancy pants cocktail you ordered at the bar that really highlights the smokey notes of the scotch? Or how you just moved to the neighborhood and you're really loving it? Since you're doing the approach, you can pick whatever topic of convo you want. It sounds like a tough decision, but isn't it better than a guy coming over to you and fumbling and mumbling on and on about the weather?
And setting the tone means you're in control. You have a handle on whether or not you want this first meeting to be especially flirty or particularly platonic. Once you've gotten a read on him (and the either exciting or repulsive idea about you and him), you can either settle in for more titillating conversation or excuse yourself and get the hell out of there. "So nice meeting you! Have a great rest of the night." Then throw your smoke bomb down, and boom, you're gone.
Also, men like feeling attractive. Because you've made an effort to come talk to him, his ego automatically got a boost and, come on, who doesn't love a good ego boost? Now that he's feeling all big and powerful from your approach, he'll hopefully feel comfortable enough to let his guard down and show you the real him.
Last and kind of least, making the first move saves you time. Why wait around for him to come and talk to you all night? Pull a Minnie Driver in Good Will Hunting and march on over to the smahty pants at the end of the bah and give him your numbah. You never know, you could be landing yourself a handsome genius who's just a little on the shy side. How do you like them apples?
How do you feel about making the first move?
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